Atomic Bombshell


May 21st, 2004

Recently I’ve been getting flak about my attitude toward happiness. You see, I freely admit that I don’t believe in the pursuit of happiness, because it’s always seemed to me like a catch twenty-two. Seeking happiness doesn’t make you happy. It’s selfish, self absorbed. In the end, a life of selfishness doesn’t engender happiness, only emptiness.

Maybe I’m just arguing over semantics. So instead I spent some time thinking about what really makes me feel fulfilled. By thinking about personal fulfillment instead of happiness, I get down to the meat of what really achieves meaningful positive results.

In reminiscing about moments where I’ve felt most fulfilled, these are my best times:

Watching someone’s face light up while savoring the first bite of a dish I’ve labored over in the kitchen, and when they go for seconds or can’t wait to tackle leftovers.

Laying in bed caressing my partner and getting so in tune with their body that I am able to touch them in a way that pushes a sound of deep relief straight from their soul.

Talking to someone one-on-one. Learning who they are and what they believe. Finding out what’s lovely about each person, and then sharing it with them so they feel loved.

Praying about things I don’t understand or struggle with, and then later getting an answer or a solution, usually in a way I never would have guessed.

Learning about the amazing universe that we live in. It always points back to the extreme love and care of our Creator.

In summary, I’d say it comes down to serving people and building a relationship with God. What’s great is that those two endeavors are mutualistic. One feeds the other. What’s hard is consistently centering my life around these things. My selfish instincts run counter to what really provides true happiness.

Entry Filed under: The Black Hole

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