Atomic Bombshell

Window Frames

June 29th, 2004

Unkempt eyebrows are one of my pet peeves. Being half Armenian, I’ve learned a lot about taming my own unruly brows. So when I look around and see so many people whose appearance could be so greatly improved by a little eyebrow maintenance, I just have to speak out.

Offenders tend to fall into three main categories:
The monsters, the fakers, and the almosts.

Monsters are easy to recognize. They resemble the taller of the gay Sesame Street duo – Bert. Like a giant caterpillar crawling across their forehead. Unfortunately, these people are better off with a weed whacker than a Tweezerman. Older men are especially prone to this fate.

Fakers are a fun bunch. There are those who just don’t have enough eyebrow hairs naturally, and then there are those goths and cholas who shave them off entirely. Then they all draw something back on that looks damn silly. They’re the ones with that permanently surprised look that even botox can’t fix.

The ones that really tick me off are the Almosts. They’re those normal, or even good looking folks who could kick it up a notch – BAM! – if they would just get off their lazy butts and put a pair of tweezers to some good use. I don’t know if it’s crazed indifference or a lack of beauty education, but they just don’t bother. What a shame.

It drives me nuts because although I’m sitting there really trying to listen to them, I can’t help giving them a makeover in my mind. Now I’m no authority on beauty, but I imagine how much better and more expressive these Almosts would look without all those stragglers. I’ve seen some beautiful eyes all but ruined by messy brows.

If eyes are the windows to our soul, then eyebrows are the frames. Think of how much you communicate to the world just by lifting one. Consider for a moment – What are yours saying?

Entry Filed under: Carrie's Rants

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