Atomic Bombshell


Archive for July, 2004

Tombstone

Tombstone

Last year I had laser, intense pulsed light, and radiation treatments to reverse skin cancer and stuff. And this year you’ll find me with a very attractive tan brewing. Not on purpose… it just… happens.

To avoid this, one must either hide indoors, bored to tears, or slather on SPF 50 every ten minutes. No matter what I do, or how hard I try to hide or reapply, I always end up with a better tan than when I started.

Seriously… I should stay out of the sun, but every time there’s an opportunity to swim, bike, hike, surf, walk, or play – I’m there! I wonder if I can get a frequent customer discount at my dermatologist’s office.

Design your own tombstone.

July 31st, 2004

Hydrology

I’m a mermaid. There are few things I enjoy more than spending a day in the water. Which is why I can hardly believe that yesterday was my first time visiting a water park. Raging Waters is the best one in California, the third largest in the nation… And it was a total blast!

My favorite attractions were High Extreme – a ten-story tube ride with plenty of twists and turns, and Amazon River – a relaxing float through a quarter-mile of paradise. I was even brave enough to hit Dropout …Twice! The fall is so vertical, it’s just you plummeting through thin air for a while.

Dare I say it… This may even be better than the beach.

July 30th, 2004

Myopia

I’ve been working on a corporate name change project for a long time. It all started out with my proposal, where I reasoned that a change of name would be advantageous. The argument must have been good, because the proposal was accepted, and for almost a year now I’ve been coming up with rounds of names, at the behest of our Board of Directors.

What I find laughable was that their top name selection ended up being one that originated in the very first round of concepts. And what I find uproariously hilarious was that all their top picks were truly average, even slightly dull. These decision-makers merely demonstrated their inability to look past their own noses and take into account the people we serve, while flaunting an abject fear of anything innovative. Lemmings.

Although I realize that a Board of Directors is in the business of having no vision, this level of myopathy makes me ill. They quite literally didn’t think beyond how the new corporate name would look on their resumes… Which is no better than my leadership team cohorts, who only considered how it would look on their business cards. Pathetic.

I, on the other hand, am charged with the task of growing our membership, increasing accounts, and otherwise actually making a connection with constituents. It saddens me that they passed up the chance to make this easier. The name change project was just reduced from being an opportunity to make us more attractive to potential customers, to a mere redesign of all our marketing materials. This is a lot to swallow… GULP!

July 27th, 2004

She’s Crafty

Tiffany

It’s been a while since I started a stained glass project, and I really miss it. But it’s really impossible to work with glass when the kids are here during the summer. I picture shards of glass finding their way in the house and meeting up with little bare feet.

The last project I made was this one, which really isn’t all that impressive, but nevertheless it’s mine. I don’t know what I’ll work on next, probably a panel for the bathroom in my aunt’s new house… something contemporary and abstract.

Last year I had the opportunity to visit the Smith Museum of Stained Glass, where I was able to view some of Louis Comfort Tiffany’s famous works. The photo above is one of my favorites… Enjoy!

July 23rd, 2004

Deja-Moo

Our work environments are often stiflingly boring. So marketing freaks like me invent new words in an attempt to take some of the boredom out of the boardroom…

Air Cover
When a senior manager agrees to take the flak for an unpopular decision, while someone lower in the chain of command does the dirty work. As in: “The CFO will provide air cover, while you reduce staff by half.” (A term borrowed from the military.)

Alpha Pup
A market research term referring to the “coolest kid in the neighborhood.” As in: “If the alpha pups go for it, we’ll sell millions of them.”

Bleeding Edge
Beyond cutting edge. So new, its creators aren’t entirely sure where it’s headed.

Business Ecosystems
When companies in the same markets work cooperatively and competitively to introduce innovations, support new products and serve customers.

Chips and Salsa
Refers to computers. Chips = hardware; Salsa= software.

Co-Evolution
A theory that a company can create new business, markets and industries by working with direct competitors, customers and suppliers.

Cookie Jar Accounting
An accounting practice where a company uses reserves from good years against losses that might be incurred in bad years.

Defenestrate
A 17th century word, now back in fashion, that means to throw someone or something out the window. As in: “Let’s defenestrate this marketing strategy.”

Dial It Back
To tone down. As in: “Your sales pitch is too aggressive. Dial it back.”

800-Pound Gorilla
A company that dominates an industry short of having a complete monopoly.

End-to-End
Used largely by technology vendors to imply that whatever they build for one part of your organization will work with whatever they build for another.

Future-Proof
To create a product that won’t be made obsolete by the next wave of technological advancements.

Ideation
Brainstorm session.

Living Document
A document intended to be continually revised and updated.

Market Cannibalization
When a company’s new product negatively affects sales of its existing, related products, i.e., it eats its own market.

Optics
How things appear.

Pain Points
A favorite of consultants used to describe places where an organization is hurting due to poor operating structure, technology or inefficiencies.

Pockets of Resistance
Another borrowed military term that describes a person or group that attempts to stall, block or kill a project.

Reaching Critical Mass
Having enough customers or market share to become profitable.

Repurposing
Taking content from one medium (books, magazine, etc.) and repackaging it to be used in another medium.

Reverbiagize
To reword a proposal with the hope of getting it accepted by people who didn’t like it the first time around. As in: “It’s the same concept, we’ve just reverbiagized it.”

Tszuj
(Pronounced “zhoozh”) To tweak, finesse or improve.

Value Stream
Six Sigma term that encompasses every step in the process of producing and delivering a product or service (whether it adds value or not).

Value Migration
Used in industries where there is little market growth, the term refers to the movement of growth and profit opportunities from one company to another.

White Space Opportunity
New high-potential growth possibilities that are related to but don’t quite match the capabilities and skills of the organization.

And last but not least…

Deja-Moo
The feeling you’ve heard this bullshit before.

July 21st, 2004

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