July 1st, 2004

I have never been able to hold a grudge. Although I’ve been wronged more than my share for one lifetime, I’m glad that I never developed the ability to keep people on the hook for what they’ve done to hurt me. A willingness to forgive and forget has always superseded my efforts at self-protection.

There are people who bear grudges against me. Not a single one will explain why, though I have asked. Some have managed to keep them up for years, not speaking to me at all, or only when under duress. Though I do not doubt the legitimacy of their grievances, their behavior boggles my mind. They love holding on to their hate.

Where do they find the energy? Don’t they know it always backfires? Silent treatments, haughtiness, snide remarks, deliberate cruelty – it’s all worthless and ineffectual. How bizarre that people can live their whole lives without figuring out that when you behave this way the one who suffers most is you, not your intended victim.

Maybe they don’t realize that by begrudging someone you’re keeping them on your hook, and therefore you are never truly free. As we approach this Independence Day I declare that liberty is something I deeply treasure, and that’s precisely why I don’t play those games. Hatred imprisons the spirit. I choose freedom.

Entry Filed under: The Black Hole