It has been proposed that we move away from color codes, and transition to this more “friendly” version. It’s not a terrible idea. Somehow threat level Elmo isn’t as distressing as a Red Alert. I mean, who doesn’t love that fuzzy little ticklish guy?

You know, speaking of homeland security, did you hear about all the extra precautions for the Dumbocratic National Convention? The terrorists let me down. Both Clintons in the same room… How could they bypass a perfect opportunity to make the world a better place?

August 1st, 2004