Atomic Bombshell


September 16th, 2004

I’ve been listening to a lot of classical music lately… And for a multitude of reasons:

1. Most rock/pop/alternative/etc radio stations have no new music, at least nothing worth listening to, and play old songs ad-nauseum.

2. Ever since I got an iPod and iTunes, I don’t buy or burn CDs for the car any more. I need to get one of these to connect… Nice excuse.

3. I’m sick of lame-ass lyrics. I love good lyrics, but I heard some retarded song that said “your boyfriend looks like a girlfriend” and that was the last straw.

4. My work load at the office is out of control lately, so I’m steering toward classical as a preventive measure, to avoid burnout.

There’s something about classical music. Does it engage the mathematic processor in my brain? Because when I’m listening to it, I am instantly transported to a higher thought process… Everything seems clearer, better focused, more in perspective.

Until my sophomore year of college, when my instrument was stolen, my schedule was constantly filled with music classes. Although my primary instrument was alto sax, I had the opportunity to learn many instruments. You see, saxophones didn’t exist until the romance period, so if I didn’t play something else, I’d have nothing to do.

My experience with classical music is deep and personal… and emotional. I still recall the frustration of trying to perfect my execution of a difficult piece of music, drawing in all the expression that I could, concentrating so deeply. I remember the exhilaration that followed a flawless, heartfelt performance.

Having experienced these things, I find it difficult to sit on the other side of the stage. I yearn to perform, and I question the integrity of the masses who regularly attend the symphony. I doubt they enjoy it in the same way instrumentalists do. We feel the music deeply, seeing it tangibly, as I imagine Einstein could view a complex equation, effortlessly, in his mind’s eye.

I don’t know why I let that theft destroy my passion as an instrumentalist, but I suspect it has something to do with real life creeping in, and the pressure to focus on an area of study with potential for decent income. Now I see that the only endeavors that matter are the things that become “art” for you… the substance of your passion.

Entry Filed under: Atomic Bombshell

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