Atomic Bombshell

Archive for September, 2004

W W J D ?

Sometimes, I look at certain situations and wonder… What would Jordan do? And when I received his words of wisdom, answering that very question, I figured I’d share them with you. Enjoy!

“Life is too short to dwell on the less than stellar moments, yet those may be the ones that define us most. Those dreadful, horrific happenings alter and change our lives, etch into our souls, and stretch our puny little hearts and minds (and sometimes our bodies) to the point of no return.”

“And just as it seems to be our darkest hour, we realize that we have chosen to be in the dark during those moments. We dread our faults, our insecurities, and choose to hide away and lick our wounds. We try to find safety where we can neither see, nor be seen. We can neither comfort, nor be comforted.”

“We blind ourselves with the selfish and insignificant. Cluttering our minds and hearts, as we mourn those happy moments that have come and gone – as if they’ll never come again. Why is it that we try to find solace in the dark depths in which we have fallen? Where is our logic when we think we can hide from ourselves? Who can comfort me if I can not find comfort in myself?”

“We must ascend form the pitfalls of our mind to conquer the glory in our hearts and souls; all that is intended for us. Fight, kick, scream, and howl at the moon for what is entitled to you. Clear your path, plot your travel, and fill your sails. The passage may not be quick, nor the direction always known, yet the quest shapes the soul.”

P.S. What about the time when I picked your nose and wiped it on your teeth? That was pretty sick.

Yep… That’s why everybody loves the guy: After a long, inspirational diatribe, the real Jordan comes out in the post-script.

Jordan - Dogpile
God bless America!

September 24th, 2004

Cotton Picking

I sold my brother into slavery.

Heaven forgive me. Monday he started work here at the office. It’s a good deal, I suppose… The pay is decent and we’ll work around his school schedule. But if I’ve done him a favor, why do I feel bad?

Maybe it’s because I bleed my existence into this black hole every day. For me it’s a cotton field. At least for my brother it’s a vehicle to propel him on the road to achieving his dream. I can hardly wait to see him become a feature animator.

Just prior to making him an offer, my boss (our CEO) called me in to grill me, but her concern wasn’t as much about fraternization as it was “Don’t be too hard on the kid.” She’s a big sister, too.

I had a blast helping him put together a wardrobe… in one day. Mad skillz. And you know, even though I don’t see him while he’s working, just knowing he’s in the building is kinda nice. Love that kid.

September 22nd, 2004



Pimpify Your Name cuz you need something fresh when you’re out collecting cash from biznitches on the street.

Some of my personal favorites: Master Fly Kiki Shizzle, Dopetastic Kiki Rockefeller, White Chocolate Kiki Smooth, Tricktickler K. Glide, Mack Master Kiki Beautiful, Trick Magnet K. Flash, Ghetto Fabulous Kiki, and best of all – Fine Ass Kiki Flex.

Now that I’ve found the source for all that hard-to-find essential pimp gear, I feel a whole new career coming on.

September 21st, 2004


Each day, I wake up and get back to my work as an anthropologist. To spend my time sorting through piles of worthless rubbish, seeking hopefully to unearth the real, eternal substance of who I am… And then to put it all back together, piece by piece.

September 18th, 2004


I’ve been listening to a lot of classical music lately… And for a multitude of reasons:

1. Most rock/pop/alternative/etc radio stations have no new music, at least nothing worth listening to, and play old songs ad-nauseum.

2. Ever since I got an iPod and iTunes, I don’t buy or burn CDs for the car any more. I need to get one of these to connect… Nice excuse.

3. I’m sick of lame-ass lyrics. I love good lyrics, but I heard some retarded song that said “your boyfriend looks like a girlfriend” and that was the last straw.

4. My work load at the office is out of control lately, so I’m steering toward classical as a preventive measure, to avoid burnout.

There’s something about classical music. Does it engage the mathematic processor in my brain? Because when I’m listening to it, I am instantly transported to a higher thought process… Everything seems clearer, better focused, more in perspective.

Until my sophomore year of college, when my instrument was stolen, my schedule was constantly filled with music classes. Although my primary instrument was alto sax, I had the opportunity to learn many instruments. You see, saxophones didn’t exist until the romance period, so if I didn’t play something else, I’d have nothing to do.

My experience with classical music is deep and personal… and emotional. I still recall the frustration of trying to perfect my execution of a difficult piece of music, drawing in all the expression that I could, concentrating so deeply. I remember the exhilaration that followed a flawless, heartfelt performance.

Having experienced these things, I find it difficult to sit on the other side of the stage. I yearn to perform, and I question the integrity of the masses who regularly attend the symphony. I doubt they enjoy it in the same way instrumentalists do. We feel the music deeply, seeing it tangibly, as I imagine Einstein could view a complex equation, effortlessly, in his mind’s eye.

I don’t know why I let that theft destroy my passion as an instrumentalist, but I suspect it has something to do with real life creeping in, and the pressure to focus on an area of study with potential for decent income. Now I see that the only endeavors that matter are the things that become “art” for you… the substance of your passion.

September 16th, 2004

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