December 3rd, 2004

Earlier this week I sent out a call for twenty questions, and the following people rose to the occasion: Lewis, Michael, Kangamini, Joseph, Mona, Jon, Can, Silent, Grant, Dan, Catt, and Easy. There were really some interesting questions in there, too! Thanks to everyone who responded to this fun little exercise.

Here are the finalists and my answers!

Lewis: Quick! You are confronted by a llama – What do you do?
Usually I smile and strike up a conversation. You see, I’m confronted by a llama quite often… His name is Scott, and he’s not just any old llama, he’s the LlamaKING!

Can: Serve in heaven or reign in hell?
That’s easy: serve in heaven. I don’t have what it takes to reign in hell… If you haven’t noticed, I’m a bit of a softy.

Kangamini: How good is your kung-fu?
Not so good, not so bad. I was a student at Ed Parker’s original Kenpo Karate studio in Pasadena until it closed. I’ve got the moves, but I would hate to use them.

Silent: If you could, would you do it again?
Yes, but I’d certainly do some things differently. Of course, that’s provided that I’d get to do it all over again with the benefit of hindsight… I wish.

Catt: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy. Content. Relaxed. That would be a nice start. When I figure out what it takes to end up that way, I’ll let you know.

Easy: Just how much is a gazillion?
According to Webster it’s an indeterminately large number. According to me it’s Godzilla’s animated sidekick… No wait, that was Godzooki.

Grant: If you could meet somone living or dead, whom?
I would select the only celebrity ever to be ressurected from the dead. That mystery man who changed the course of history and civilization. The first pioneer for equal rights.

Kangamini: Would you take the blue pill or the red pill?
I’m more curious than any cat, so it has to be the red pill. Curiousity gets me into plenty of trouble, but it also leads me to continue learning, and to experience new and exciting things.

Dan: Why do you like pink so much?
Originally it was because my mom hates it. But later on it came to symbolize the power of femininity to me. There’s nothing innnocent about pink.

Joseph: Why do you hide your greatest gifts?
Maybe because I don’t even know what they are yet.

Catt: Sugar or salt – Which is your obsession?
Neither… Rich foods that require gallons of milk to wash it down are my favorite. Unfortunately, that means they have a billion grams of fat.

Easy: Paper or plastic?
Grocery shopping… What’s that?

Grant: Do you ever miss the days of the Pink Prison?
I’d like to say no, but I’d be lying. I had a blast in Jr. High.

Mona: Can you do any stupid human tricks?
I turn straw into gold at work every day.

Kangamini: Coke or Pepsi?
* D I E T * C O K E * The elixir of the gods!

Dan: What is up with those people in Australia?
Nothing is up with them because they’re down under.

Michael: Why do you have high expectations but settle?
Expectations kill. It’s such a set-up for disappointment. I try to be one of those take-it-as-it-comes kind of people, which is hard when you’re also a bit of a control freak.

Jon: Will you marry me?
The very minute that they legalize polygamy.

Catt: If you won the lottery, what would you do?
First I would buy land and build a community with homes for all of my friends and family. Then I’d work with Virgin Galactic to bring space travel to the masses.

Silent: Why do you care about all us fucked-up people?
Because I’m fucked-up too, and as such I know that fucked-up people are the best kind of people on earth. The only honest ones, anyway.

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