January 3rd, 2005

Heaven knows I’ve plugged Jason Rohrblogger’s top ten lists before but dangit it’s about that time once again: Check out his very funny…

10. Martha Stewart discovered smuggling fois gras into prison in her rectum.

9. Whitney Houston’s condition is still unknown but doctors rule out “stable.”

8. I giant Imperial Star Destroyer docks at the Pentagon and takes Donald Rumsfeld back to his home planet.

7. Tara Reid’s bed collapses: 2 killed 14 injured.

6. After the free Iraqi elections, Cheney carves out his own small republic: Dickistan. Capitol: Haliburtamabad.

5. Fans become unruly at a WBC heavyweight boxing match and a Pistons game breaks out.

4. Liza Minnelli legally changes her sign to Gemini so she can get readings for both of her personalities.

3. The hockey lockout is broken when the Detroit Red Wings agree to take on Ron Artest in a best-two-out-of-three cage match.

2. Michael Jackson explains naked photos of him with guests at Neverland as a “wardrobe malfunction.”

…and Jason’s number one prediction for 2005…

1. Tom Cruise and Madonna form an even wackier cult based on the teachings of Kabbalah and Thetan worship: Ziontology.

Entry Filed under: One Of The Guys