February 15th, 2005
Today is the day of aftermath… Valentine’s Day is for sharing all that love with your beloved – but the day after is for reflecting upon the people that you thankfully did not end up with, so that you may appreciate your loved-ones ever more.
My past is not littered with an endless stream of freaks and geeks, it’s more like a short winding creek. But even in those brief years of single life I manged to attract my share of stalkers, losers, and creeps.
Here’s to those few who even years later make me shiver in horror…
To the guy who never wore long pants: I hope you stayed out of the gene pool even though you were always dressed for a swim. Every time I hear the song “Spiderwebs” by No Doubt, I think of how you thought calling repeatedly would somehow up your odds of landing me… Like it was some kind of dating lottery.
To the incontinent rocker: It might be wise to share information about the full extent of your hidden ailments before popping the question instead of right before the invitations go out. It’s possible to love someone despite those issues, but only if that was the only thing you weren’t upfront about. Hope you learned from the experience.
To the mafia kingpin’s youngest son: We were friends I tell you. Thanks for going on a hunger strike and having your mom call to beg me to take you seriously. Somehow that turned into two years of my life that I will never get back. And thanks for still hunting me down every now and again, it makes me feel so special.
Entry Filed under: Carrie's Rants
9 Comments
1.
Pie | February 15th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
Heh, I don’t even want to think about the ones I got away from…
2.
Lewis Moten | February 15th, 2005 at 5:25 pm
I usually end up thinking of where they have ended up today. Maybe it’s just a guy thing. Where ever they are, I hope I wasn’t much of a creep when they reflect.
3.
Jade | February 15th, 2005 at 5:39 pm
OMG This was hysterical! You reminded me of the ones I had tried to long forget, and yet, it became very humorous! Thanks for the laugh!
4.
LlamaKing | February 15th, 2005 at 5:41 pm
Its funnier when you run into an ex randomly and discover that they turned into one of the people you would not even want to be seen with.
5.
John | February 15th, 2005 at 10:22 pm
I just had to say that I love the logo for this site. The girl with the rocket between her legs. Crotch rocket? That’s great.
6.
Jessica | February 15th, 2005 at 10:29 pm
Too funny the memories….
7.
Lisa | February 16th, 2005 at 9:08 am
For me, I’ll never forget the guy who felt some sick sense of pride in leaving a baby everywhere he lived. Since I wasn’t going to be his Tacoma victim, he moved on to another girl.
8.
Easy | February 16th, 2005 at 3:25 pm
Mmmm…I was going to comment, but I’m re-thinking it…
9.
The Zero Boss&hellip | February 17th, 2005 at 4:45 pm
Anyone Up to Take on “Zero Boss”?
Thanks to Aurorealis to exposing me to something at least as fun as Halo 2 on Xbox Live: Googlefight! Plug in two terms, and watch them go head-to-head with one another. And yes, “Zero Boss” has already Googlefought half of the blogosphere. I kick Metr…