Atomic Bombshell


February 24th, 2005

February is almost over. I figure those of you who are gonna flake out on your New Year’s resolutions have already done so, and those of you staying the course have made some decent progress.

Those of you with weight-loss resolutions: How goes it?

When I look back on the decision to leave the land of “pushing size 14” what stands out in my mind are the fears I had. Of course, the fear of failure. Not knowing whether diet and exercise would pay off or become fruitless torture. But there were other fears too…

People perceive you differently when you’re wearing insulation. For all the bitching people do about how poorly we treat overweight people, having been on both sides I must tell you – The shy girl in me preferred the life of a chubster.

What made me comfortable with the extra pounds was that I enjoyed that certain level of invisibility. Despite my unfounded narcissism, I liked the reduced attention, especially with regard to the opposite sex. I’m told it’s common among rape survivors. Stealth is security.

It’s freaky how things change as the fat melts away. People treat you differently. I promise you’ll notice the changes. Jealousy becomes an everyday reality as well. Though I must say, somehow you can get away with being less nice when you’re thinner… Bizarre.

Other mixed blessings: That store where you always found flattering outfits despite your former weight… Bad news. Everything they sell will look dowdy or matronly on your thinner body. You’ll end up cruising the mall searching out new favorites. As problems go, not too rough.

Maintenance… That’s another fun game. After working your ass off you finally get to level out, but figuring out what it takes to stay at your goal weight must require a degree in biochemistry. I’m still trying to get the hang of it, and I hit the mark a year ago.

Hope this helps. Preparing mentally may arm you to overcome some potential obstacles. For those of you still on the wagon, I’m rooting for you, and working right alongside as we gear up for…

B A T H I N G   S U I T   S E A S O N

Entry Filed under: The Black Hole


  • 1. Oscar  |  February 24th, 2005 at 11:04 pm

    Nowhere have I seen such an obsession with physical appearance as I did in Colombia. My 44-year-old mother-in-law who lives there has a better body than my 22-year-old wife who lives with me in California. I dieted and exercised for two months before my two-week visit only to be referred to as Marcela’s chubby husband.
    Don’t get me wrong, Colombia is a wonderful country it’s just that they pay VERY special attention to physical appearance. It’s to the point where in many cities all major thoroughfares will close for a few hours on Sundays so the entire city will go out jogging, bicycling or do some other workout. I suppose that it’s a good thing.

  • 2. Neb  |  February 24th, 2005 at 11:21 pm

    It’s nice to hear somebody reporting on a goal/lifestyle change achieved! I’ve made some recent changes, myself, and no longer need to toxify myself with birth control pills (yay!). I’m hoping my digestive tract starts to come online and that my rollercoaster weight will stabilize a bit…

  • 3. Weenie  |  February 25th, 2005 at 5:18 am

    I already broke one of my resolutions, which was to go to the gym twice a week 🙁

    Still, I’ve been going at least once a week, which is better than what I did last year!

    Nice blog!

  • 4. Jade  |  February 25th, 2005 at 9:42 am

    I am one who doesn’t make resolutions for fear of setting myself up for failure. I have, however, been on a kick to loose weight and find my former self within the chub. You’re absolutely right about the different treatment. I still like fitting into a size 10 rather than the 16 I find myself shopping for now… *sigh*
    I have, however, dropped a size, after 6 months of working at it, and hope to keep going, but we’ll see!

  • 5. Grins  |  February 25th, 2005 at 3:42 pm

    Bathing suit season?!?!? Pass me a donut someone… ::sigh:::

  • 6. Lisa  |  February 26th, 2005 at 7:05 am

    I’ve had a lot of convos with people about this, particularly the part about survivors of childhood abuse needing the padding. Sometimes I wonder if I just use that as an excuse to stay fat.

  • 7. Kangamini  |  February 27th, 2005 at 12:54 pm

    I used to weigh upwards of 325 pounds. I had been a big kid my whole life. I started gaining weight as a result of experiencing childhood abuse. After dropping into the 175-200 lb range I see a TOTALLY different world. Having been on both sides of the fence I have a unique perspective I think. Sadly, I see myself now looking at overweight people thinking to myself “If I lost it, why can’t you?” and then I think how hard it was for me to lose it in the first place, and how obsessed I am about maintaining it now. It isn’t easy.

About Me



Recent Items

Time Travel