Atomic Bombshell


Whips & Chains

April 28th, 2005

Keith called me out for what might be the blog equivalent of a chain letter. He got it from Lisa, who got it from Sooz, whose directions state:

What follows is a list of different occupations. Select at least five of them. Add more to the list if you like, and then pass it on.

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

When these show up in my e-mail I never send them on, but who knows if the cosmic consequences of breaking a blog chain might be real. Well, I’m not taking any chances, and since it looks like fun, here goes…

1. If I could be a pirate I’d sail the seven sees in search of bootie. Speaking of bootie, maybe I’d also get the opportunity to sidle up to Johnny Depp and ask for a few pointers. Yowza!

2. If I could be a scientist I’d have to find a way to make teleportation possible. Star Trek can’t have a monopoly on the coolest form of travel ever… It’s time to share it with the masses.

3. If I could be a mob boss I’d find a few ass-kicking gorgeous women, hire them to be my very own Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, and then proceed with my master plan to take over the world.

4. If I could be an artist I’d like to do make-up for the big stars in Hollywood. Not only would I get to know all their dirty little secrets, but I’d get to write off all my trips to Sephora. Muahaha!

5. If I could be a professional race car driver I’d drive the pink OB tampon car. Announcers could go to town with that one: “They’re three wide at turn two and the OB car squeezes in! She’s drafting so tightly, they could be attached by a string! Looks like the OB car is experiencing some engine trouble, she’s spraying fluid all over the track! Gutsy move by the OB car, if she spins out it could be bloody.”

Occupations to choose from:
If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an innkeeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a backup dancer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be a midget stripper…
If I could be a proctologist…
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host…
If I could be an actor…
If I could be a judge…
If I could be a Jedi…
If I could be a mob boss…
If I could be a personal trainer…
If I could be a professional race car driver…
If I could be a stand-up comedian…
If I could be an artist…

Tag! You’re it: Corinne, HeroineGirl, and Chaos-Girl

Entry Filed under: One Of The Guys

13 Comments

  • 1. LlamaKing  |  April 28th, 2005 at 5:23 pm

    Hurting for ideas for entries that much?

  • 2. Aurora  |  April 28th, 2005 at 5:55 pm

    More like I was put up to it by a long-time blogging buddy…
    You should just be extremely grateful that I didn’t select the
    “If I could be a Llama-rider” option. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • 3. Trey  |  April 28th, 2005 at 7:21 pm

    I have always wanted to build a teleportation device so I could talk to people in person and send people items without a time restraint.

  • 4. LlamaKing  |  April 28th, 2005 at 8:21 pm

    Like you could have even come up with an amusing paragraph about that…

  • 5. Jason Rohrblogger  |  April 28th, 2005 at 11:29 pm

    If I could be a gynecologist…I would only want to look at it.
    If I could be a psychologist…I would only want to talk about it.
    If I could be a lawyer…then she would really get screwed!

  • 6. Master Foley  |  April 29th, 2005 at 6:34 am

    DOH! Want to pick someone else?
    Kim already made me do it.

  • 7. Aurora  |  April 29th, 2005 at 7:13 am

    Which just goes to prove my point that this is not much more than a chain letter in disguise. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hehe

  • 8. Lex Looger  |  April 29th, 2005 at 9:56 am

    That is by far the sickest thing I think I’ve seen you post. i’m only glad 8zero8 wasn’t here to read that. He’d be emotionally scarred.

  • 9. Master Foley  |  April 29th, 2005 at 10:02 am

    LOL I realized it was slightly different
    so I’m gonna do this one too and tag some other ppl.

  • 10. Lex Looger  |  April 29th, 2005 at 1:04 pm

    Don’t feel bad about the chain letter. I’m starting the equivalent at my site.

  • 11. Keith of R.Electrons  |  April 30th, 2005 at 7:17 pm

    I feel bad it came across as a chain letter – I hate them – but I’m really glad you played!! I liked you answers – the teleporter idea was neat – and the tampon race-car made me laugh!

  • 12. Easy  |  May 4th, 2005 at 2:59 pm

    No fair!!

    Yours had more (and better) choices than the one I got!!

  • 13. Chaos Girl&hellip  |  April 29th, 2005 at 9:16 am

    Tagged

    I was tagged by Aurorealis , so here goes! What follows is a list of different occupations. Select at least five of them. Add more to the list if you like, and then pass it on. Of the five you…



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