Atomic Bombshell


Archive for April, 2005

The Secret

It must have been the Mongolian food we had Friday night, because although I’ve thumbed through a Victoria’s Secret catalog about a million times before, this time I noticed something… Different?

So I’m sitting there looking at this one picture thinking, “That’s cute with the blue lace on the pink satin” but then I noticed the most disgusting belly button ever. Hoping it was just this one model, I started flipping through the pages looking at the other photos…

When you consider how much digital editing they’re doing on these models already, can somebody tell me why they don’t paste up something slightly less freaky down there? I don’t think I’ll ever flip through a Victoria’s Secret catalog quite the same way again.

13 comments April 24th, 2005

Expression

I don’t think I’ve touched a paintbrush in the last ten years, apart from touch-ups around the house, but today I tried my hand at some virtual painting over at Art.com, thanks to a link from my buddy Silent.

What’s more, you can watch a flash movie to review your technique, or send a link along to friends. I contemplated making my parents really depressed (both have art degrees) by sending them my work.

There’s also a gallery where you can view works by other budding Picassos and psychoanalyze them according to their subjects and methods… Enjoy and Happy Friday!

3 comments April 22nd, 2005

Comingling

After a few years of marriage I have yet to commit to the “comingling of funds” concept. We each still have the same checking accounts we were using before we tied the knot. Even the concept of adding eachother as joints never really came up.

But then there’s days like today, where nearly three thousand dollars in bills came due, and it would have been nice to have room to breathe.

The main reason we never combined assets was because my husband has another family, from years before we met. I suppose that changes the rules a bit. People have such horror stories about crazy exes, that I see the wisdom in keeping funds separate. For example…

Just for the sake of financial safety you have to keep one “safety net” account secret, because at any given time the mother of the children could freak out and lie to the District Attorney, claiming child support was in arrears. The DA would sieze all our liquid assets, pay the lady, and ask questions later.

Sound like a raw deal? It gets even better: They’ll arrest you, too.

Then magically, with no money left in the bank, you’re supposed to make bail, hire a lawyer, and put your case together to prove that you had paid in accordance with the legal agreement. Then, if you get that far, and the courts agree, you may get an apology… Nothing more.

Meanwhile, that angry lying ex has been partying it up in Vegas with her new cokehead boyfriend, spending everything you’ve got left after already paying child support. Nobody’s gonna help you get that money back either. And did I mention that you still have to pay as usual?

You can’t collect the money she owes you by deducting it, even in monthly installments, from subsequent child support payments… “The children would suffer.” But nobody cares about their suffering as she blows that child support on herself while the kids starve.

Let me tell you, after hearing stories like this from other men and women, I dropped the idea of blending our assets like a “normal” married couple. Life is scary enough as it is, you don’t need fiscal disaster looming over your head at all times.

Somehow this turned into another one of my rants, so while I’m at it: The child support and welfare systems in the state of California are a screaming joke! We’re supposed to be so liberal and progressive, yet we have some of the most antiquated family law on the books.

What was all that equal rights stuff all about with regard to women? From the looks of how they handle things in family court, you’d think it meant “I have a uterus and therefore I deserve it ALL and you can kiss my fat lazy ass” – because I’m not seeing any equality happening.

Nowhere does the law take into account all the biznitches out there having babies for a damn paycheck. Need a raise? Get knocked up again, and make sure your “baby-daddy” makes a fat grip. Tell him you’re on the pill… That one always works!

I swear to you, if I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I’d have gone to law school and I’d be fighting for true equality right now.

14 comments April 21st, 2005

Google SMS

Have a mobile phone? Use text messaging? If so, this is for you: Free Google SMS Service! It’s certainly not a new feature, but when I first learned about it I thought “COOL!” then forgot to try it until recently. These days I use it constantly and cannot imagine life without it.

Simply address a text message to GOOGL (46645) for business and residential listings, driving directions, movie showtimes, weather, stock quotes, Froogle pricing, definitions, fact queries, and more. The only “trick” is learning the appropriate way to phrase each request.

VISIT HTTP://SMS.GOOGLE.COM FOR INSTRUCTIONS

3 comments April 20th, 2005

Blogasmic

This Week’s Topic: 10 Favorite Blogs

So they’re forcing me to narrow down the huge list of blogs I read on a regular basis to a current list of ten favorites. No easy task, and I’m up for the challenge, but it’s gonna be a tough call. Here goes nothin…

1. Jason Rohrblogger – I may be his biggest fan
2. Lewies Blogs – Always fresh and fabulous
3. No Vacancies – Is Lisa my cosmic twin?
4. Drunken Master – Currently rebuilding
5. One Child Left Behind – Introspective
6. Dirty Flower Girl – Raw, just like life
7. Fugging it Up – Always hilarious
8. Dot Bench – Excellent writing
9. Chaos Girl – I lurrrve her
10. The Sneeze – EAT IT!

What are your favorites?

8 comments April 19th, 2005

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