So I went to the Faire last weekend and unlike most people who browse around and see some shows, I’m not satisfied to merely tra-la-la on my merry way like I’m supposed to. Oh, no! I wore the t-shirt pictured above… For a few good reasons:

1. I am a marketing genius! When walking into a giant den of nerds, it’s nice to look like a rockstar, but you’ll receive an even warmer reception when you look like a rockstar who loves nerds. Wearing a statement about your regard for their kind breaks the ice.

2. Having worked the faire before, I know how nice it is when someone throws you the proverbial bone. Street improvisation isn’t always easy, but when someone has a fun saying emblazoned across their chest, it makes for an easy intro.

3. Why merely visit when you can turn the event into a silly adventure? What makes Renaissance Faire fun is playing with the actors, which isn’t easy when you’re shy - which I can be. Force yourself to participate by guaranteeing your position as fodder.

Well, it worked like a charm. That silly little $10 babydoll t-shirt, huge JBF hair, Elton John sunglasses, and black & white Chucks with a 4″ wedge heel guaranteed a riot… Even with my crazy mom in tow.

The most common response was an enthusiastic “I’m a nerd!” to which I decided to smile and move on. They spoke out of character, tsk-tsk. Later, when it came from residents of the land beyond nerd, Geezerville, I fought the urge to let out a “Forsooth” or “Verily!”

Now the best crowd interaction by far was from a group of guys from, I’d have to guess St. Michael’s. These were the kind of nerds that I “heart” because they sang a little song of ones and zeroes. Fabulous!

The magical shirt came through once more as I tried to pass by the Moonie and Broon show and Broon roped me in… Now that was fun! Check out his animation site, it’s a hoot!
And now you know the secret to having fun at the Faire!

3 comments April 18th, 2005

MAKE JORDAN LAUGH: CAPTION THIS PHOTO!

7 comments April 17th, 2005

Before you doubt my proclaimed rule over all Geekdom, you should know there was a time when I appeared regularly as a performer at our local Renaissance Faire. Yes, every weekend in Spring you could find me clad in period garb, singing songs, and making people smile.

This year’s festivities begin tomorrow, and though I can no longer be found performing in the streets, I never miss a SoCal Faire. It’s been years since I got to play dress up and speak with a funny accent, but I remember it being lots of fun… Oh well, at least they let me visit!

8 comments April 15th, 2005

Da bruver finally passed the written portion of his drivers’ exam… Hallelujah! This was his second try, and after the fiasco that ensued after his first failed attempt, suffice it to say that I was a bit nervous. You’d need to be a professional to deal with that self-esteem crisis.

Of course, now I get to bite my nails worrying about whether or not he’s gonna commit seppuku if he doesn’t immediately pass the behind the wheel portion of the test… And I thought I was a drama queen!

Even when he gets his license the worries won’t end. Then I’ll get to learn a whole new kind of pucker as he drives us back and forth to work. Southern California traffic is like trial by fire for n00bs.

Why can’t we just have good public transportation?

7 comments April 14th, 2005

Click for a gift from my buddy PJ… Check it out!

Named for the futuristic sounding subtitle of the Atari 2600, “Video Computer System” won Best Electronica video at MTV Brazil’s 2000 award show, and incorporates elements from Keystone Capers, Pitfall, EnduroRacer, Missile Command, Tennis, Frogger, River Raid, and Pac Man.

2 comments April 12th, 2005

Went in search of a wireless keyboard & mouse and quickly uncovered a strange phenomenon — The popularity of convenient image zooming buttons. I was frustrated thinking, “I don’t need or want extra one-touch zoom capabilities”… But then I grinned as it dawned on me:

“Oh yeah, I’m lacking an internet porn addiction.”

Took me a minute, but I finally realized that when you’re a pr0n fiend (and you know who you are) and you make the switch to wireless input devices, you are now free to move away from the monitor (onto the bed perhaps?) and that zoom becomes a very big deal.

How wonderful that Microsoft and Logitech saw the need to add this important feature. Makes me wonder how many consumers e-mailed, or if it was simply that the employees in research and development are also hearty consumers… The world may never know.

7 comments April 11th, 2005

Normally I have an opinion about movies, but this time I’m at a loss. Didn’t hate it. Didn’t love it. Not sorry I saw it. Wouldn’t recommend it. It’s entirely possible that I’m so desperate for a good adventure film that I’m willing to pretend Sahara wasn’t as cheesy as Wisconsin.

8 comments April 10th, 2005

I hear they’re launching a remake of Amityville Horror, and they really should have asked our house to audition. No - Ours isn’t haunted or deadly, or anything cool like that, but it does have a sixth sense…

So we’re on day seven of our spring cleaning project, making up for about three years of ignoring the little stuff, and it’s like the house is aware of the neglect, feels resentful, and is and getting back at us!

First it was the faucet in the bathroom that wouldn’t stop dripping and had to be replaced. Then all of a sudden the thermostat that died. Last but not least, tomorrow we’ll be replacing the guts inside the toilet that has now decided to intermittently malfunction.

9 comments April 9th, 2005

What would happen if your site was attacked by UFOs from outer space? Or how about a nuclear blast? Can your site survive a flood? How about maggots, fried eggs, dinosaurs, paintball guns, and coffee?

…Find out when you visit NetDisaster.com!

Happy Friday! Have fun blowing up your own URL and have a wonderful weekend, too. As for me, I’m on DAY SIX of spring cleaning, with no end in sight… I’ll continue battling dust bunnies all weekend.

6 comments April 8th, 2005

So you’ve already heard about my first office stalker, and thankfully things have improved. But then lo and behold a new one arrives on the scene, and he (yes, I said he) is bigger and badder than the original.

…AND BY THAT I MEAN: HE’S CREEPY AS HELL!

The new guy. Sits in the cubicle area with the rest of the troops, a few yards outside my office. At first I thought, “How strange that every time I get up and walk outside my office he’s looking right at me” and tried to quietly dismiss it as nothing more.

However, today I was the source of ridicule from the peanut gallery, who unbeknownst to me had been watching this psycho stalker for weeks. My illusions that maybe it’s all concidental were shattered, as according to these eyewitnesses, he stares at me all day every day.

Now the only question is - How do I get rid of him? Maybe I could feign some bizarre gynecological itching and make twisted facial expressions as I scratch away. But for all I know, he’s into that sort of thing…

Any ideas people? Your input is appreciated.

7 comments April 7th, 2005