May 6th, 2005

Fess up… I can’t be the only one dreading Mother’s Day

A few times each year I suck it up and do something nice for my good old Tormentor, but Mother’s Day is the most difficult. The hypocracy of pretending to be happy that she’s my mother makes me want to retch. Being “nice” is such an insipid goal when compared to being honest.

Yet the thought of her moping around at church on Sunday – crying about how her children are so mean, receiving sympathy from people unfamiliar with the horrors she committed – for years made me angry enough to break my standards of personal integrity…

But this year I’ll tell her, “I don’t know of any child who can avoid loving their mother, but I don’t have to celebrate being born to my abuser. I can accept it, but the only things worth celebrating are the victories my brother and I have achieved despite your best efforts to destroy us.”

To those of you who grew up in homes with even marginally attentive mothers, I’m sure that sounds cruel. To those of you who understand, I’m sorry if you shared in any of these: physical & emotional abuse, neglect, and worse yet, the inevitable denials that any of it happened.

On Mother’s Day I’ll be celebrating the lives of mothers out there doing right by their children. I’ll lift you up in my heart for doing what should come naturally – Loving your kids. I live on the other side, painfully aware of the grave importance of what you do.

Entry Filed under: The Black Hole