Atomic Bombshell

Best Medicine

May 27th, 2005

Corny jokes, puns, one liners… You’ve got a cache of them lodged in the back of your mind, and it’s time to break them out. Maybe you told that joke to someone and they groaned and told you how lame it was, but now’s your chance to get a laugh: I love stupid jokes!

You know, the kind you can tell a five year old? Yeah, that’s my brand. The simpler the better. You’d be surprised how often these corny jokes come in handy. I’ve had more than a handful of jerks melt under the pressure of a mere knock-knock joke. Try it some time.

Feel free to break open a stick of Bazooka gum if you have to, and then round up all your corniest jokes and deposit ’em right here for our enjoyment. Here are a few to get the ball rolling…

Why does Snoop carry an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.

Where do cats go on vacation?
The Canary Islands.

What’s the definition of a farmer?
A man who’s out standing in his field.

What don’t you say to someone on fire?
Wow, you’re hot!

Entry Filed under: Atomic Bombshell


  • 1. Chaos-Girl  |  May 27th, 2005 at 5:19 pm

    What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits the windshield?

    It’s ass.

  • 2. Courtney  |  May 27th, 2005 at 11:05 pm

    I have THE stupidest joke ever. It’s kinda long but people only laugh out of pity. You ready for this?

    A guy was dating a girl named Lorraine. He knew that Lorraine was the ONE. She had all the qualities that he wanted in a woman. She was smart, funny, and beautiful. Then one day in the video store, he met a girl named Clearly. Now Clearly was beautiful, funny, smart, and knew all the best places in town. The guy kept trying to break up with Lorraine but couldn’t get the nerves up to go through it. Then one day, the guy and Lorraine were walking along a riverbank, his mind on Clearly, when Lorraine slipped into the river. While he watched her float away, he sang, “I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone.”

    Yes, I know, it’s awful but it makes me giggle.

  • 3. Crystal  |  May 28th, 2005 at 10:04 am

    The joke that amused me for months when I was about 4:
    Why do spiders spin webs?
    Because they don’t know how to knit.

    My younger sister, at about 6, would tell everyone the first blonde joke she actually understood –
    Why do blondes have square boobs?
    Because they forgot to take the kleenex out of the box.

  • 4. Misty  |  May 28th, 2005 at 8:07 pm

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    …because it was dead.

  • 5. Lewis Moten  |  May 28th, 2005 at 11:30 pm

    What gets bigger as you take more away from it? A hole.

  • 6. Aurora Baker  |  May 31st, 2005 at 5:45 am

    What red, fuzzy and knocks you over?
    Tackle me Elmo!

    PS. My name is Aurora, too… I didn’t steal it, I swear.

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