I declare jihad on the hairstyle known as the “Fauxhawk” – Not to be confused with its badass cousin, the Mohawk… The faux is a pathetic attempt to be edgy while still holding down an office job.

The first time I saw one I thought it was interesting… For five minutes. But now I’m seeing them everywhere, on a wide range of men from age 15 to 50 – The fauxhawk has become the 21st century mullet!

Death to the fauxhawk. Either go all the way by shaving the sides and dying the remainder blue, or just accept the fact that your life doesn’t have room for interesting hair and move on. Thanks for listening.

27 comments July 23rd, 2005