September 16th, 2005
Last night I was reminded about why it’s really not such a good idea for me to ever procreate. Set aside the issues about overpopulation and rumors of outstripping the food supply, and still there’s this:
Spent yesterday evening in urgent care because someone had an allergic reaction to something (we have yet to figure out exactly what, but we’re working on it) and while we were there, a mother showed up with an infant who had sustained a third degree burn on his little hand.
It was obvious that the baby was frustrated. And why not? With no concept of time, and no idea when or if the pain would subside, nothing could comfort him. In contrast, the mother was calm, and a bit more concerned that her son’s wails would upset others in the waiting room.
Knowing there was nothing I could do to make that child’s pain cease almost tore my heart out. The best I could do was beg the nurse for an ice pack, which proved useless because you can’t convince a baby that although cold hurts even more, it’s better in the long run.
The longer they waited to admit him, the less I could bear it. After a few minutes had passed, I had to excuse myself and walk outside so I wouldn’t make a scene by joining in the chorus of tears. So I went to the car and wept, then sorted my thoughts and pulled myself together.
Although the drama ended there, it left me thinking: This wasn’t even my child! These were complete strangers, and yet I nearly lost my mind. What a nightmare… They should reposess my uterus.
Entry Filed under: The Black Hole
11 Comments Add your own
1.
DianaCrabtree | September 17th, 2005 at 10:00 am
When I read this post I feel I am witnessing a STRONG maternal urge!
Sure you almost went crazy, the baby was in pain and you couldn’t stop it! There are stories going around about mothers lifiting cars off their children…its a powerful thing!
I am thinking I shouldn’t have children for all of those reasons you stated, but since I too, get INSANE when it comes to kids that arent even mine, I can see I will be an excellent parent to a foster child (& maybe adopt them)
2.
soapbox.SUPERSTAR | September 17th, 2005 at 10:50 am
Hmmm, I think I hear something ticking…
3.
The Bombshell | September 17th, 2005 at 11:34 am
Yeah, and hopefully it will go KABOOM!
There are many reasons why motherhood is not for me. Fortunately I get to enjoy the kids my husband had before we met… Being a stepmom is good.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with loving children and yet never having any of your own. It’s not a requirement, and I wish more people would take the time to get to know themselves and seriously question their fitness as parental material beforehand.
Read this post from Gweny, which does a good job of explaining.
4.
JH | September 17th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
Re “Set aside the issues about overpopulation and rumors of outstripping the food supply . . .” how about another issue: There are few things more sad or grim than kids brought into this world by parent(s) who didn’t want or couldn’t (due to ability, inclination, or fitness) support them — but for lots of good, bad, and debatable reasons, the world has an abundant supply.
I don’t think it’s a crime against humanity to not want to have kids. I think it IS, to have ‘em if you don’t!
5.
'Chele | September 17th, 2005 at 12:28 pm
You know, I think this is why the mom was so calm, or at least I hope this is it…
Something kicks in and you know that you have to maintain. See, someone has to be calm. If you aren’t, then your child won’t be. So to me, I see that maternal urge, and you proved it by leaving to compose yourself… You had the forethought to leave the room. Aaaaaaaahhhh!
6.
Neb | September 17th, 2005 at 1:07 pm
I’m with you on this one in a big way. Kids are great. I love my nieces. Procreation is not my thing. My husband has three girls from his first marriage. The youngest is in the middle of college world, the oldest is married and doing her own thing, the middle one is a good case for not procreating. She’s not a horrible person or anything, in fact she’s pretty cool, she’s just hell-bent on flushing her life down the toilet these days in so many ways it’s just agonizing. In fact, she’s even chosen to procreate without benefit of clergy! SHE needs her uterus revoked until proven competent. *sigh*
7.
DianaCrabtree | September 17th, 2005 at 2:13 pm
Here here! (To all of ‘em!)
8.
April | September 18th, 2005 at 11:05 am
There is no surprise in that dear, nothing wrong with that at all. It is completely understandable. I’m not even a mother, but I’m a surrogate mother to my little brother, who is 14 years younger than I. Because of the fact that I took care of him so much, when I see a baby, I damn near understand their language when they are in pain, etc. Shoot, you think you have a cow because you were upset about the trauma that a little baby went through that was a complete stranger… imagine what it’s like to almost feel like that, and you haven’t even had a baby yet! Sheesh… I’m with you, someone needs to decrease my estrogen, ha!
9.
Cube | September 20th, 2005 at 9:22 am
As a parent myself ( & if my kids don’t disown me), you have to maintain a facade of calmness, even if you’re at the point of pulling out your hair, otherwise kids will feed off of your hysteria. You have to be calm & soothing. You can break down later in private.
10.
PinkSaltyDickMeat | September 21st, 2005 at 12:37 pm
Your response is indicative of the depth to which you can empathize and the kind of parent you can absolutely be.
When my son was 5, he broke his arm. Had to lay on top of him while they set it. I can still hear him screaming. I had to hold his hand when he was 8 and they put stitches in his finger tip. I fainted when he was 9 and he got stitches in his chin.
When my daughter had surgery, I had to stare at this tiny child, waking up from anesthesia with the look in her eyes of “Where am I, what happened”.
These are the things that make me cry today just thinking about them.
Then there are other times….
Like when our son scored winning overtime goals in overtime, when he was elected student body president, when he came home with 700 scores on his SAT
When our daughter was asked to solo on the christmas show song, when she read Cat in the Hat all the way through for the first time….
The greater the investment, the greater the risk. It all comes down to how much are we really willing to take.
11.
Paul | September 24th, 2005 at 12:48 pm
No kids here, and no regrets for it.
The regrets might come when I get older, but if I look to myself as the example and my parents I realize that the value of a life is much larger than simply genetic propagation.
If my siblings and myself had never been born, my parents life would have still made as much difference in the world as they have with us.
How’s the Mr.? I remember the day I developed an alergy to shellfish… it wasn’t a mystery as it runs on my mothers side of the faily and shows up at around the age it did for me.
I miss crab, scallops, shrimp and the other stuff but I had enough of it before the alergy to last my memory a life time.
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