October 13th, 2005
While all of this may be painfully obvious to you, please pardon me as I drill the following concepts into my head:
There are things that I want to achieve and yet have not. The only reason for this is that I failed to desire them sincerely enough. I was either too emotionally lazy (avoidance) to dig deep enough to reach my fears and expose the lies behind them, or I was deceiving myself about the extent of my ambition to begin with.
Although the first half of my life was spent as a victim of those who abused, neglected, and crippled me, I’m on the other side now. Even though people tried to strip away my potential, I still emerged in posession of every single thing that I would ever need to make any worthwhile dream a reality.
Nothing that happened to me in the past means anything about who I really am. That is determined by my heart, and thereby my behavior… Today! And so I’m starting to feel this sense of urgency, realizing that the generations before me are winding down and backing off. It’s nearly my time to step up and make a play.
So, I don’t have the luxury of this laziness any more. It’s time to figure out who I really am, what my passions really are, and how I can share my own brand of excellence in order to help build a better place for the generations after me. I have no idea what shape any of this will take, but I owe it to everyone to get up off my ass and find out.
Entry Filed under: The Black Hole
9 Comments Add your own
1.
'Chele | October 13th, 2005 at 9:42 pm
Umm… When you find a clue… Can you send me one?
2.
The Bombshell | October 13th, 2005 at 9:44 pm
With my big mouth, you’ll hear all about it right here… Not to worry.
I really wrote this as a measure of personal accountability. One of the best things about blogging is to have an archive of where we were back when. Once in a while I look back at my old posts and am amazed at how just getting things out there helped me deal with issues I was previously avoiding.
So, thanks for listening
…Even though these “Black Hole” posts are seldom reader favorites, they’re the ones I treasure most.
3.
Kangamini | October 13th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
Those among us who have always known what they want to do and who they want to be are the lucky ones. The rest of us spend half our life figuring out what it is we want to do, and the other half regretting not doing it or not figuring it out sooner. Take me for example
Choose your path with an open mind and an open heart and it will be the right one. Kiss!
4.
Andrew QH | October 13th, 2005 at 11:14 pm
Wow… That worded my thoughts exactly.
Thank you.
5.
Neil | October 13th, 2005 at 11:43 pm
Sounds great. Anything in particular that set off this new awareness?
6.
Lewis Moten | October 13th, 2005 at 11:44 pm
I just want to be me… Isn’t that enough?
7.
soapbox.SUPERSTAR | October 14th, 2005 at 5:18 am
Good Luck!
8.
April | October 14th, 2005 at 9:43 am
Nice read. I find your sense of self consciousness makes me feel hopeful for others! ((clapping))
9.
The Bombshell | October 14th, 2005 at 4:18 pm
I could blame it on Yom Kippur, except that I’m not Jewish like you, Neil… May I just pretend your Hebrew influence was behind it?
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