October 19th, 2005
My little brother complained all day about how hungry he was. He was getting lethargic. I was starving, too. We were quite often hungry …but only randomly fed.
Mom had neglected to submit the paperwork for free meals at school, so lunches had become a thing of the past. What did she care? Somehow she always managed to be forty pounds overweight, while we stole fruit from neighbors trees on the walk to and from school.
Back home, the refrigerator held only inedible things like margarine, mustard, and ice cube trays. We never knew when mom would be home, or how angry she would get if we dared to bother her for a meal. Often it just wasn’t worth the risk.
Grandma lived only two blocks away, with a kitchen filled to overflowing with the most delicious foods you could ever imagine. But we knew better than to tell grandma and grandpa we were hungry and alone. That would just bring down more of mom’s wrath.
So I pulled down the collection of McCall’s cookbooks and spread them out on the kitchen floor, flung open the doors to the pantry and cupboards, and went to work. Pouring through recipe after recipe, trying to find something to match the few dry ingredients on hand. Imagining all those meals made my stomach growl.
Hope was finally found inside the volume devoted to cookies. How cheery cookies are! Sweet and warm. There was flour, we had sugar, and spices, too. Baking soda lasts forever. We had everything I needed to make the simplest tea cakes… We thought they tasted like heaven.
Sometimes I look at the skinny girls and I wonder how they can like looking thin more than feeling satisfied. How can they choose day after day to regiment themselves to being half empty? I see them with their cans of water packed tuna and salad greens and feel pity.
Anyone who was malnourished as a child knows about the promises you make. Like Scarlett O’Hara, you swear, “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!” And it’s a promise you keep so easily in this land of plenty, where there’s an eatery around every corner.
Now, every day of the week my brother and I have lunch together. It’s a blessing working together for a time. I have a feeling we’ll look back on this era later in life and cherish the time spent together even more. It’s been an important time of learning and growing.
These days, instead of worrying what, when, and if we’ll eat, we look forward to letting the other person choose a lunch destination. We take turns. Now the emphasis is on packing the fewest amount of calories into a most satisfying meal, because we’re both trying to cut back.
It’s funny how things only seem to change. We’re shaped by our experiences, especially those early ones. I still find it hard to resist a cookie… And I picked up a vintage set of McCall’s cookbooks on eBay.
Entry Filed under: The Black Hole, Time Travel
18 Comments Add your own
1.
Char | October 19th, 2005 at 1:50 pm
My grandparents till this day have food everywhere! I love going over there, but for some reason I’ve developed that same habit to have food! My fridge has seen some bare days, but very few (usually when my son is not home). But that was one thing that would chap my hide: When my mother would not cook! Even if my son does not eat my food when I cook it, at least there is comfort knowing that it is there when he does get hungry.
You and your brother still work together? I used to work with both of my parents… Weird, very weird, but somewhat comforting.
2.
The Bombshell | October 19th, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Yup… Sold my brother into slavery here 13 months ago, and he’ll probably stay until he finishes college. Poor kid!
3.
Susie | October 19th, 2005 at 2:40 pm
That’s a great story. Thanks for sharing
4.
Salena | October 19th, 2005 at 3:19 pm
WOW! What a heart warming story.
5.
soapbox.SUPERSTAR | October 19th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
Do you speak to your parents now?
6.
The Bombshell | October 19th, 2005 at 3:58 pm
Good question. Although my mom and dad still live nearby, I choose to distance myself from them somewhat. Though they both accuse me of being unforgiving, I have peace because I know the truth. They think I neglect them because of the past, but it has a lot more to do with who they’ve chosen to be right this very minute.
7.
Deb | October 19th, 2005 at 4:43 pm
Very inspiring! Glad you were able to make peace with things and are so close with your brother.
8.
Lisa | October 19th, 2005 at 5:07 pm
Your stories have been amazing this past week. You must be going through a really reflective time right now.
9.
VDO Princess | October 19th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
I’m lucky; I never went hungry. We may have eaten chickpeas and rice for dinner, but I wasn’t hungry. Awesome story.
10.
The Bombshell | October 19th, 2005 at 9:32 pm
Really reflective time = PMS
11.
Last Girl On Earth | October 19th, 2005 at 10:05 pm
Wow. This is a great post. It sounds like you and your brother have a great relationship.
I just found your blog via Char. I can’t wait to read more. Come by and visit when you get a chance. Have a great Thursday.
12.
Bill H | October 19th, 2005 at 10:06 pm
Reading this makes me wonder how my kids could look into our full refrigerator and full cupboards and complain that “There’s NOTHING to eat in this house!”
13.
Just Linda | October 20th, 2005 at 5:23 am
Very touching… Thanks for sharing.
14.
Master Foley | October 20th, 2005 at 6:20 am
I think my mother has some of those cookbooks… or it’s Betty Crocker, but they make some of the best meals I can remember.
15.
Boudica of Suburbia | October 20th, 2005 at 7:23 am
Thanks for sharing. God that sounds cheesy. But it ain’t. Thanks, seriously, it was a touching recollection. God that sounded cheesier. Apologies, im not trying to be insincere.
16.
'Chele | October 20th, 2005 at 9:32 am
The things parents do to children are forever lasting. As adults we must choose to be better so as not to let them effect us in the ways they did as kids… It looks like you are doing just that. You are a better person with your growth out of the darkness.
17.
Lewis Moten | October 20th, 2005 at 10:39 pm
Sometimes people will say these things build character. It may be right, but sometimes things like this are not worth it. What happened when you ran out of flour and sugar?
I’m happy that you got past this and much of the other things that you have gotten through.
18.
Atomic Bombshell » &hellip | November 11th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
[...] So, you already know about my progress with the circuit training and spinning, and dealing with food issues and stuff. But today I’m going to give you a glimpse at what it takes, on a consistent basis, for my body to start melting off the lard. If the average young lady were to adhere to this regimen, I bet every dime I own that she’d end up a heck of a lot more slender than the overly curvy size six I fight so hard to keep. Check this insanity… [...]
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