Atomic Bombshell

Green Monsters

November 19th, 2005

She HulkAn open letter to jealous women:

You are the reason I would rather live the rest of my life without female friends. Every time I reach out, I get attacked by irrational harpies like you for no apparent reason. You remind me about everything I loathe in my gender and make me pity the desperate men who manage to put up with you.

First of all, what even gives you the right to be jealous of me? How dare you assume that I have something that couldn’t be yours! Everything you see here was built from nothing. I had no role models, nobody to help me become the woman I am today. What you covet in me is the result of my pain, struggles, and hard work… And I’m still under construction.

Also, I didn’t get dressed this morning thinking “I’m going to make her boyfriend check me out.” When I go to the gym, it’s so that I can live a full and healthy life, not so that I’ll look “better” than you. If your man looks at me too long, I suggest you take it up with him. I certainly don’t want his attention! Maybe if you spent the same effort treating him well that you do trying to intimidate me, you wouldn’t be threatened.

So the next time you’re about to flash that evil eye at me or make a shitty comment, think again! I have chosen to be a generous person, and would be more than glad to help you achieve whatever it is that you envy in me… Jealousy is a cancer to your spirit, and it would be my pleasure to assist you to steer clear of it.

Grow some ovaries and choke down the fact that anything you don’t have is a result of your lack of willingness to endure the sacrifices required to achieve that goal. Everything worth having bears a price. You’re not allowed to hate me just because you’re lazy. What little I have was paid for in blood, sweat, and tears… Join me.

Entry Filed under: Carrie's Rants,Completely Girlie


  • 1. Silentz  |  November 19th, 2005 at 2:19 pm

    I hope things went well with Hozo the Clown.

  • 2. 'Chele  |  November 19th, 2005 at 2:33 pm

    Amen Sistah!

  • 3. Deb  |  November 19th, 2005 at 2:37 pm

    You got that right, girl! They just don’t want to spend the effort on themselves. Sad, ain’t it?

  • 4. The Bombshell  |  November 19th, 2005 at 2:39 pm

    Yep… It’s like they expect everything to be handed over to them on a silver platter. Should you have something they want, they’ll just plague the shit out of you until you’re as miserable as they are.

  • 5. Erratic Prophet  |  November 19th, 2005 at 3:50 pm

    I second that amen! Why are we our own worst enemies?

  • 6. Jennifer  |  November 19th, 2005 at 4:34 pm

    All I can say to this is…

    You go girl 🙂

    I hate stupid bitches with a passion. I honestly think you and I could get along in real life (despite the fact we are both women).

  • 7. soapbox.SUPERSTAR  |  November 19th, 2005 at 7:04 pm

    Don’t let it get to you…or they win.

  • 8. The Bombshell  |  November 19th, 2005 at 7:25 pm

    The only thing that really gets to me (after letting this out anyway) is that because of these loser bitches, good women go into hiding. So here we are, lurking behind our computer monitors (or hanging out with our guy friends) because we’ve all been burned so hard.

  • 9. Jenny  |  November 19th, 2005 at 9:16 pm

    Totally! Some women can be the suxorz and ruin it for the rest of us.

  • 10. Andrew QH  |  November 20th, 2005 at 8:13 am

    That was the best mix of “I hate you” and “But here, let me help you” post ever!

  • 11. Lisa  |  November 20th, 2005 at 8:54 am

    There are good women out there. Unfortunately they are sorely underrepresented and the others tend to obscure us from the rest of the world.

  • 12. Nicky  |  November 20th, 2005 at 9:35 am


    Although I admit to be jealous of your blog (great design, great writing, great content) but then again, I am forever trying to make mine better… (and I’m my own harshest critic) so I guess that doesn’t count… Does it?

  • 13. Deleted Soul  |  November 20th, 2005 at 9:58 am

    I find it much more productive to focus on bettering myself (even in moments of self pity), than it is to have a jealous, spiteful attitude toward others of my gender.

    I have been trying desparately to bond with those of my own gender in the last…oh…6 months or so. I can count on the fingers of one hand the females I can even admit to being a buddy, much less a close friend. Males are much less complicated (well, most of them…I have know a few that were more screwed up that a PMSing woman, heh), and are open and vocal about competition.

    I don’t want to join the ranks of sisterhood banner touting feminist, but sometimes it would be nice to sit down with a fellow Vaginese and discuss tummy pudge, moodswings, or even politics and technology, without getting a blank stare or having the conversation inevitably turn toward “God, men are just so…”.

    You cyber-saavy techie girls can’t be real. 🙂

  • 14. Alex  |  November 20th, 2005 at 6:11 pm

    Don’t forget Sturgeon’s Law (90% of everything is crap) and the fact that men are, with rare exceptions, actively engaged in trying to impress you. 🙂

  • 15. La Bella  |  November 21st, 2005 at 1:01 am

    Couldn’t have put it in better words.

  • 16. Salena  |  November 21st, 2005 at 9:11 am

    AMEN! That’s reason #459 that I don’t have too many women friends either!

  • 17. Dude  |  November 21st, 2005 at 1:56 pm

    Thank you for validating my misogyny. I agree with you that women, in general, are vapid little monsters.

  • 18. Atomic Bombshell » &hellip  |  November 30th, 2005 at 5:01 pm

    […] Eureka! I found a fantastic new blog. It’s like a salve for my angry, woman-hating soul. Remember my post earlier this month about jealous chicks and how they’re screwing up my desire to find female friends? Well, very shortly thereafter I came upon “Confessions of a Female Misogynist” while cruising Blogger, and I swear to you… I heard angels sing. […]

  • 19. Atomic Bombshell » &hellip  |  November 30th, 2005 at 5:04 pm

    […] Eureka! I found a fantastic new blog. It’s like a salve for my woman-hating soul. Remember my post earlier this month about jealous chicks and how they’re screwing up my desire to find female friends? Well, very shortly thereafter I came upon “Confessions of a Female Misogynist” while cruising Blogger, and I swear to you… I heard angels sing. […]

  • 20. Tanya  |  December 8th, 2005 at 12:20 pm

    I think one of the big issues in making and keeping female friends is the jealousy issue. Some females do not want to keep friends that are sexier or more successful then they are. But being successful is all in how you look at it, and how hard you work to towards your goals. It is sad that we cannot just be liked for who we are, but rather, we are hated for what we have. If life weren’t such a compeition it would be easier to maintain friendships with females.

  • 21. Deleted Soul  |  December 12th, 2005 at 1:50 pm

    Just when I felt like I possibly found females that I had something in common with, I was proven horribly wrong, and I was solidified in my opinion that females are idiotic bitches… At least the ones I know in real life.


  • 22. Lonestar!  |  February 8th, 2006 at 2:50 pm

    yeah… i’m really relieved right now to have read that, i’m in highschool and the past few months have been really hard for me… my girlfriends all started getting really jealous of me this year because up until i turned 16 i was kind of tom-boyish and was never really interested in dating and then this year i matured a little bit and got a job and bought prettier clothes and started wearing makeup and just became a little bit girlier.

    then one time the guys in our grade were talking about who they thought the hottest girl in our grade was, and they all agreed on me and somehow the girls found out and for some reason got mad at me for it all. …then they started leaving me out of everything and never invited me to hang out with them outside of school and then stopped eating lunch with me and eventually they just completely stopped being friends with me.

    it hurt to say the least but it got worse when they started spreading untrue slutty rumors about me. i was really depressed about it for a while but i’ve come to terms with it i guess… i just really hope i can make female friends when i go to college because i don’t really have any right now…

  • 23. Anonymous  |  June 24th, 2006 at 9:56 am

    OK I am WAY past high school (probably old enough to be your mom) and have something to contribute here…

    Regretably, female jealousy only gets worse and more brazen as one gets older, expecially if one doesn’t get fat. Despite the tooth and nail battles of decades ago to include more women in industry and management, many of whom are just unqualified, displaced moms whose idea of “leadership” is silencing new ideas with piercing gigles and those hostile little comments.

    Keep your pride and DO NOT GIVE IN. Yes, you may be alone sometimes, but you have to keep plugging away. Eventually the quality women will notice you and it will pay off with real (although not abundant) friendships.


  • 24. Lisa  |  February 10th, 2007 at 4:10 pm

    I experience this behavior from females every day of my life. I hate it too. What is especially painful is that these women to whom I have reached out because I want and need women friends, have hurt me so badly with their betrayals and meanness, whether it is about a job opportunity, a romantic opportunity, or other friends and family. Even MY SON, for God’s sake!!! Imagine! These women have children of their own and they dig around for down and dirty information about my relationship with my son so they can compare and, hopefully, feel better about their own shitty parenting! My God.

  • 25. Lisa  |  February 10th, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    What I mean by the competition about the children is that they will start off with, “So, how is your son? Do you see your son often? What is your relationship like with your son?” These sound like innocent enough questions until they keep going and slide in some other questions like, “Do you think he has any problems from his parents’ relationship?”, “Do you think he will really finish college?” and you get a chance to see the sly looks on their faces. I couldn’t believe it the first couple of times I experienced it! I thought, now, wait a minute. This woman has 3 kids of her own. Surely she understands the complexities of raising human beings, the trials and tribulations…why is she looking for “bad” things in my situation? I am not doing that to her (???). I just assume there are some negatives because it is the human condition and it’s a given. But, I am not focused on finding out what they are (???). Yikes!!

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