Now that I’ve pointed an angry finger at my gender, it’s only fair that I examine the fingers pointing right back at me. An obvious issue is my mouth: I use my tongue like a sword. My brother sweetly mentioned so this week, and though it was not a new piece of info, the fact that my words would ever wound him begs for an urgent remedy.

The kid is right. I’m ashamed of how easy it is for me to cut people to the marrow. Devastating words fly from my lips with heartless precision. Like a shark during a feeding frenzy, my eyes roll back in my head and I wake when it’s over, viewing the resultant carnage as if it were created by someone else. Not very ladylike, is it?

We all have strengths and weaknesses, but it’s sadly common for talents to be perverted (taken too far) until they become a defect. Self-expression has always come freely to me, but my sharp tongue is thereby unsheathed too often. Once those harsh words are out there, they can’t truly be taken back… The damage is done.

I want my lips used to build, not destroy.

12 comments November 20th, 2005

An open letter to jealous women:

You are the reason I would rather live the rest of my life without female friends. Every time I reach out, I get attacked by irrational harpies like you for no apparent reason. You remind me about everything I loathe in my gender and make me pity the desperate men who manage to put up with you.

First of all, what even gives you the right to be jealous of me? How dare you assume that I have something that couldn’t be yours! Everything you see here was built from nothing. I had no role models, nobody to help me become the woman I am today. What you covet in me is the result of my pain, struggles, and hard work - And I’m still under construction…

Continue Reading 25 comments November 19th, 2005

Stumbled upon a web page of an artist in residence at Cornell who was charged with making creative programs for the students, and “Letters to Walken” was the result.

Christopher Walken is my favorite SNL guest character. Have you seen him as The Continental, and needing MORE COWBELL? These letters are bizarre… Enjoy!

If for some reason that wasn’t your style: Try this one instead.

10 comments November 18th, 2005

23 comments November 17th, 2005

Some days just suck until the last minute. Thank you, Mr. Full Moon! Rushed around trying to get ready for the board meeting tomorrow after just being informed today that I’ll be conducting it, pretty much from start to finish, for the first time ever… Wish me luck!

Then, as if the day wasn’t already fubar, I had the extreme honor of being verbally assaulted by a deranged freakette, which took the wind right out of my sails when it comes to that whole wanting “friends of the female variety” idea.

God bless the gym for rescuing this day from total disaster. After a fantastic spinning session where I imagined all my problems as the asphalt, I emerged to see a familiar face standing at the check-in desk…

Remember when I told you a story about that guy from chemistry class? In a Twilight Zone moment, today I met up with Hassan McCullough, who still stands by his original assessment of my backside.

6 comments November 16th, 2005

This Week: Best Movie Characters

Tony Montana of Scarface — With as many awesome quotables as this Cuban gangster put forth, I can’t help but put him first in line. One of my personal favorites: Here pelican, pelican, pelican…

O-Ren Ishii of Kill Bill — The way she decapitated that jerk by padding across the table in her tabi and whipping out her katana… I fantasize about that scene often during those endless meetings in the boredroom.

Captain Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds of Serenity — Charming albeit emotionally repressed, he’s full of contradictions. If the Firefly story doesn’t continue beyond the first movie, I am going to miss this guy big time.

C. K. Dexter Haven & Tracy S. Lord of The Philadelphia Story — Two for one, because they’re just plain better together. Their sarcasm and chemistry were genius. Cary Grant & Kate Hepburn were one hot pair!

James Bond of the self titled series — Not only is he brilliant, humorous, and highly deadly… But any guy who looks that good in a tuxedo while catching bad guys gets me somewhat shaken and stirred.

Sam Monroe of Life As a House — The classic troubled teen, acting out against deep dissatisfaction with his family life. I enjoyed watching him transform as a result of his father’s unique expression of love.

Joe “Blondie” from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly — In my mind, the ultimate representation of the strong, silent type. This tall, funny, surprisingly handsome guy was certainly a treat to observe in action.

Marianne Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility — She wears her feelings on the outside, and as a result, gets burned so hard that she nearly expires. I identify with this girl more than I really care to admit.

Nathan Algren of Last Samurai — The story is so intriguing that even Tom Cruise, in his Scientology madness, couldn’t screw it up. Doesn’t hurt that it’s from the same director as Glory and Legends of the Fall.

Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore of Apocalypse Now — Because who doesn’t love the smell of napalm in the morning? It’s hard to forget a character who looks around the battle zone and decides: Surf’s up!

16 comments November 15th, 2005

Until I get off my lazy butt and start a second blog for cosmetic product reviews, you’ll have to suffer through these now and then. Trust me, I only speak up when it’s something stellar. I have always hated the idea of “beauty secrets” and so I share for the sake of all womankind.

Today’s review is for skincare by Kinerase. After hearing about it from different sources, most notably my dermatologist, I decided to try them on my next visit to Sephora (aka Mecca for beauty junkies). They let me sample first, and I later purchased Lotion and Eye Cream.

Now, the active ingredient in these products is called N⁶ fufuryladenine, and from what I understand, it’s a plant-derived growth factor, similar to the compound which keeps rose petals soft and supple. In human skin, the effects are reported to be similar (and in some cases superior) to those achieved with retinol.

But what did I think about it?…

Continue Reading 13 comments November 14th, 2005

12 comments November 13th, 2005

Today I enjoyed the most amazing fantasy. It happened within a span of two minutes, while driving up Wilson Avenue on the way back from the gym. But it was so vivid and detailed, that I had to get it down on paper (okay, electrons) so that I’d never forget.

It started when I asked myself the question, “If I ever get to travel to India, what would I want to do?” and the ideas came flooding in… Only a few of which are actually feasible, but it was at the very least a lovely mental journey — Namaste.

Here is my imaginary itinerary:

Continue Reading 9 comments November 12th, 2005

The next time you feel overwhelmed by how hard it is to lose weight, take this tale into consideration. I happen to be one of those people with a sincere uphill battle. Doctors say my metabolism is functioning within the acceptable range, but if so… That is one wide spectrum! My body holds on to fat with a death grip, much like how Whitney Houston holds a crack pipe.

You know about my progress with circuit training, spinning, and dealing with food issues. But today I’m going to give you a glimpse at what it takes, on a consistent basis, for my body to start melting off the lard. If the average young lady were to adhere to this regimen, I bet every dime I own that she’d end up a heck of a lot more slender than the overly curvy size six I must fight hard to keep. Check this insanity…

Continue Reading 19 comments November 11th, 2005