Now that I’ve pointed an angry finger at my gender, it’s only fair that I examine the fingers pointing right back at me. An obvious issue is my mouth: I use my tongue like a sword. My brother sweetly mentioned so this week, and though it was not a new piece of info, the fact that my words would ever wound him begs for an urgent remedy.

The kid is right. I’m ashamed of how easy it is for me to cut people to the marrow. Devastating words fly from my lips with heartless precision. Like a shark during a feeding frenzy, my eyes roll back in my head and I wake when it’s over, viewing the resultant carnage as if it were created by someone else. Not very ladylike, is it?

We all have strengths and weaknesses, but it’s sadly common for talents to be perverted (taken too far) until they become a defect. Self-expression has always come freely to me, but my sharp tongue is thereby unsheathed too often. Once those harsh words are out there, they can’t truly be taken back… The damage is done.

I want my lips used to build, not destroy.

12 comments November 20th, 2005

An open letter to jealous women:

You are the reason I would rather live the rest of my life without female friends. Every time I reach out, I get attacked by irrational harpies like you for no apparent reason. You remind me about everything I loathe in my gender and make me pity the desperate men who manage to put up with you.

First of all, what even gives you the right to be jealous of me? How dare you assume that I have something that couldn’t be yours! Everything you see here was built from nothing. I had no role models, nobody to help me become the woman I am today. What you covet in me is the result of my pain, struggles, and hard work – And I’m still under construction…

Continue Reading 25 comments November 19th, 2005

Stumbled upon a web page of an artist in residence at Cornell who was charged with making creative programs for the students, and “Letters to Walken” was the result.

Christopher Walken is my favorite SNL guest character. Have you seen him as The Continental, and needing MORE COWBELL? These letters are bizarre… Enjoy!

If for some reason that wasn’t your style: Try this one instead.

10 comments November 18th, 2005

23 comments November 17th, 2005

Some days just suck until the last minute. Thank you, Mr. Full Moon! Rushed around trying to get ready for the board meeting tomorrow after just being informed today that I’ll be conducting it, pretty much from start to finish, for the first time ever… Wish me luck!

Then, as if the day wasn’t already fubar, I had the extreme honor of being verbally assaulted by a deranged freakette, which took the wind right out of my sails when it comes to that whole wanting “friends of the female variety” idea.

God bless the gym for rescuing this day from total disaster. After a fantastic spinning session where I imagined all my problems as the asphalt, I emerged to see a familiar face standing at the check-in desk…

Remember when I told you a story about that guy from chemistry class? In a Twilight Zone moment, today I met up with Hassan McCullough, who still stands by his original assessment of my backside.

6 comments November 16th, 2005