Atomic Bombshell

Archive for February, 2006

The Unknown

The Unknown

Ever wonder how much of a control freak you really are? I have developed a new formula for finding out: Count how much time it takes between receiving essential information you’ve been waiting for and when you come down with a mysterious stress-related illness.

In my case, I collapsed in under 24 hours… Coincidence? I think not.

As hard as I try to pretend that I’m strong, my true weakness always finds a way out, and usually through my physical condition. Everybody has a weak spot, and that’s been mine. Asthma, allergies, you name it… It’s all just pain pushing its way to the surface.

When it comes to the course of my life, I am so committed to nailing down every detail. I believe far too much in the power of self-disicpline. I strive too hard to fill in the blanks. I hate waiting, and I hate leaving anything to chance… I find it almost entirely impossible to just be.

6 comments February 4th, 2006


MetamorphPersonal change can be a slow process …Except when it’s not. When you can actually tell that you’re changing, that’s when you know something kicked into overdrive… That’s where I’m at lately.

In trying to figure out the exact ways I’m evolving, I’ve narrowed it down a little. Basically, I’m done giving of myself to those who bleed me dry. You know what I mean — I’m sure you have a few, too.

What we accept, we deserve… And I might finally be finished accepting.

Furthermore, I’m starting to speak up more often when I don’t like the way I’m being treated. This is a dangerous one that usually ends up getting me into a lot of trouble… But, oh well. On the flipside, I’m also starting to more expressively treasure friends and family who stick by me through the worst times, and do what they can to help.

8 comments February 2nd, 2006

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