June 30th, 2006
This questionnaire was so off-the-wall that I simply had to comply… Behold its craptastic goodness! Feel free to partcipate, and enjoy.
Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
Not unless imaginary sex counts
Are you gay?
Nope
Do you have hairy legs?
Not if I can help it
Do you smoke anything?
Ham and turkey
Do you like monkeys?
They’re great in a heist
How many fillings do you have?
Zero, bitches
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
I would prefer a freshly cleaned pool
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Actually, yes… Flashbacks!
Have you ever read the Bible?
Often
Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Throughout my entire youth
Do you wear a lot of black?
A moderate amount
Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
Does my saxophone count?
Have you ever hugged a tree?
Probably
Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Of course… Pucker up!
Describe your hair?
Long and brown
Are you a wildbeast?
Heavens, no
Do you like to have fun?
This quiz is superfruity
Do you like drama?
See answer above
Have you ever taken a bong hit?
Maybe
Do you like mayonnaise?
Not all by itself
Are you afraid to die?
Yes and no
Do you like playing in leaves?
Not any more
Do you like lyme tics?
They’re delicious
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
Oh, I fucking wish!
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult?
HAHAHAHAHA (yes)
Are you an adult?
For the most part
Ever won a spelling bee?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you ever eat because your depressed?
I eat for any reason at all
Are you a television addict?
What’s a television?
Do you think OJ is guilty?
Absolutely
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Once in a while
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
No, but it sounds fun
On a swing?
Sounds like a recipe for disaster
Do you like Elvis?
Indeed
Do you enjoy watching animals “do it” on the Discovery channel?
HOLY SHIT… I am traumatized for life after seeing walruses
Ever been hit on at a zoo?
Yeah, the giraffes really dig me
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
I’m like 7UP: Never have and never will
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys?
Must have something to do with the tryptophan
Does your mom think someone is hot?
She’s a big fan of the surfer boy type
Are you a sugar freak?
I’d be lying if I said no
Ever been arrested?
Yup
Ever commit a crime and get away with it?
Being this rad has got to be illegal
Do you like orange juice?
It gives me heartburn
What sign are you?
Like a virgin
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
Sure, I like to watch their dentures fall out from laughing
Where do you wish you were right now?
Same place I always wish I were
Did you enjoy this?
It pissed me off a little
Entry Filed under: Atomic Bombshell
13 Comments Add your own
1.
Lisa | June 30th, 2006 at 1:29 am
I thought I was the only one who thought tics were delicious!
2.
Jason Rohrblogger | June 30th, 2006 at 8:44 am
I spank my monkey…
3.
Gene | June 30th, 2006 at 10:04 am
Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
No. But imaginary sex is probably a frequent thing for me.
Are you gay?
Nope
Do you have hairy legs?
A little scruffy may be a better word, but in general, no.
Do you smoke anything?
No, I never understood the entire smoking thing. Tried it once in England when I was 16. Didn’t like it. A month later I had cravings for it so I knew I shouldn’t do it.
Do you like monkeys?
I think they’re responsible for writing all the greatest works of literature that mankind has ever known…
How many fillings do you have?
Probably two (if memory services me right).
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
I would prefer a freshly cleaned pool
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
No. And now that I think about it I feel I’ve missed out.
Have you ever read the Bible?
Yep. Read it about two times cover to cover. To me it’s required reading.
Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Throughout my entire youth - Raised Lutheran. Ended up working for the Catholic Church for three years. I guess I’m Catholic Lite now.
Do you wear a lot of black?
Not into black so much although I’ve been told I look good in it. I prefer white, blue, green and yellow.
Answering the last question: Did you enjoy this?
It was a bit long and involved and I just stopped thinking after the third question. And then I started to wonder if I was inviting calamity in my life by releasing this information out onto the internet.
My worst fear is that there may be a six inch tall gnome out there who speaks with an Irish brough who reads this and decides to sell me a subscription to Home and Garden.
4.
JH | June 30th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
So . . . what’s the significance of all the expensive microphones at the top? I see a couple o’ Telefunken U-47s, maybe a U-67 (can’t be sure, I can’t see all of it), an AKG dynamic whose model number I can’t remember, etc. Were you frightened by a recording studio in your youth?
5.
The Bombshell | July 2nd, 2006 at 11:16 pm
No particular significance, I just like to pretend these questionnaires are akin to attending an interview with Barbara Walters…
6.
JH | July 2nd, 2006 at 11:24 pm
Poor ol’ Baba WaWa.
7.
Char | July 4th, 2006 at 9:39 am
I loved some of your answers, very creative.
8.
Grins | July 4th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
Nope
Are you gay?
Nope
Do you have hairy legs?
Nope
Do you smoke anything?
Nope (sensing a nope theme here)
Do you like monkeys?
Eh, not as much now that I know they throw poop.
How many fillings do you have?
I forget. Hey, a child of the 60s and 70s, it happened.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Ocean.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Um..no.
Have you ever read the Bible?
Bits and pieces.
Did you ever go to Sunday School?
A lifetime ago.
Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes.
Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
Those compasses we had were weapon-like.
Have you ever hugged a tree?
Yes.
Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Yes (Hmm maybe a yes theme now)
Describe your hair?
Dark brunette and just above the shoulders.
Are you a wildbeast?
No..don’t you recall the no recent sex reply?
Do you like to have fun?
No..I hate fun. ::eyeroll:::
Do you like drama?
I like Atomic which is why I am taking this silly thing.
Have you ever taken a bong hit?
Nope.
Do you like mayonnaise?
By the spoionful, nope. In potato salad sure.
Are you afraid to die?
Nope.
Do you like playing in leaves?
I used to. Could be inspired to do so again.
Do you like lyme tics?
Nope.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
I was laughing REALLY hard.
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult?
I came really close this past weekend but unfortunately my timing was off and he went unscathed.
Are you an adult?
According to my birth certificate.
Ever won a spelling bee?
Nope.
Do you ever eat because your depressed?
Nope.
Are you a television addict?
Nope.
Do you think OJ is guilty?
Yes.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Yes.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
Yes, but wouldn’t again.
On a swing?
Yes.
Do you like Elvis?
Young Elvis.
Do you enjoy watching animals “do it†on the Discovery channel?
Nope.
Ever been hit on at a zoo?
Nope.
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
Nope.
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys?
Is this a part two of the bong hit question?
Does your mom think someone is hot?
Yes.
Are you a sugar freak?
Nope.
Ever been arrested?
Nope.
Ever commit a crime and get away with it?
Um….um…look something shiny over there! ::flee:::
Do you like orange juice?
Nope.
What sign are you?
Leo.
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
Um what is the party boy dance?
Where do you wish you were right now?
Bora Bora.
Did you enjoy this?
Not really but like I said, I love Atomic.
9.
Salena | July 8th, 2006 at 7:40 am
I heard ticks are chewy… just sayin…
10.
Jason Rohrblogger | July 9th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Mine are up.
11.
Zee | July 11th, 2006 at 11:20 am
That\’s the best quiz I\’ve seen in a very long time.
12.
Nadine | August 24th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
You never fail to make me laugh
13.
Ice | August 28th, 2006 at 5:49 am
Do you like monkeys?
They’re great in a heist
Ah, in addition to cycling I see you are also a Dane Cook fan…..sweet.
BTW your site is amazing and quite entertaining
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