Atomic Bombshell

Archive for July, 2006

Looking Back

Looking Out

Now that I’ve achieved a substantial measure of distance from married life it’s becoming easier to look back and be objective. Through all the challenging events along life’s journey I try to search out the lessons and grow… At the very least, it feels like less of a waste that way.

I walked away from a life that plenty of women would find to be a fulfillment of their dreams. A decent guy with an excellent career, and a cute little home with a ready-made family. I know what I gave up and what could have been different… I see all the possibilities.

Continue Reading 15 comments July 26th, 2006

Mute Button

SilenceThink I’ve had a hard time writing recently? There’s been no lack of material, I simply have not felt comfortable with sharing because there is a risk that I could cause more hurt… And I don’t want that.

So, here’s a disclaimer, which I hope will enable me to return: A big chapter of my life just ended and nothing about it was easy, but it was right. It’s still hard, so if I write about fun things it doesn’t mean I’ve been whooping it up. Conversely, if I write about deeper things it doesn’t mean I need help.

My life is still in a strange state of limbo, but this week I started to feel a little more like myself again at work… That’s something, I guess, and not a moment too soon, because I’m certain I was minutes away from the chopping block. That would be bad. Perhaps if I start opening up a little more, I’ll make it through to the other side a wee bit sooner.

9 comments July 20th, 2006

All Thumbs

My HandsFor over a decade I wore a white gold ring on the thumb of my right hand. A few weeks ago I tossed it into a fountain. Disposing of that band was very meaningful to me. Putting it on all those years ago was more about style, but as I wore it each day it strangely came to symbolize things to me about my life and its purpose. The day I finally got rid of it I realized that I no longer fully believe those things… Maybe some day I’ll tell you what the ring meant to me, but for just now I’ll be tucking that away in my heart.

2 comments July 9th, 2006

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