Now that I’ve achieved a substantial measure of distance from married life it’s becoming easier to look back and be objective. Through all the challenging events along life’s journey I try to search out the lessons and grow… At the very least, it feels like less of a waste that way.
I walked away from a life that plenty of women would find to be a fulfillment of their dreams. A decent guy with an excellent career, and a cute little home with a ready-made family. I know what I gave up and what could have been different… I see all the possibilities.
Continue Reading July 26th, 2006
Think I’ve had a hard time writing recently? There’s been no lack of material, I simply have not felt comfortable with sharing because there is a risk that I could cause more hurt… And I don’t want that.
So, here’s a disclaimer, which I hope will enable me to return: A big chapter of my life just ended and nothing about it was easy, but it was right. It’s still hard, so if I write about fun things it doesn’t mean I’ve been whooping it up. Conversely, if I write about deeper things it doesn’t mean I need help.
My life is still in a strange state of limbo, but this week I started to feel a little more like myself again at work… That’s something, I guess, and not a moment too soon, because I’m certain I was minutes away from the chopping block. That would be bad. Perhaps if I start opening up a little more, I’ll make it through to the other side a wee bit sooner.
July 20th, 2006
For over a decade I wore a white gold ring on the thumb of my right hand. A few weeks ago I tossed it into a fountain. Disposing of that band was very meaningful to me. Putting it on all those years ago was more about style, but as I wore it each day it strangely came to symbolize things to me about my life and its purpose. The day I finally got rid of it I realized that I no longer fully believe those things… Maybe some day I’ll tell you what the ring meant to me, but for just now I’ll be tucking that away in my heart.
July 9th, 2006