October 19th, 2006

Far be it from me to ignore a free writing prompt. When you tag me to respond to a meme that’s been going around, I respond. But when somebody creates a questionnaire just for me… Well, that’s just cool. Donny Quixote wants answers, and I’ve got ‘em queued up.

First, I’d like to thank him for spending time browsing the archives to learn more. Brave. For most humans that’s a major cause of narcolepsy. Second, I’ve been gun-shy about writing recently, so he’s doing me a huge favor. Without further ado:

1. Your blog mentions that you’re “short”… How short are you?
For years I claimed to be five three, and got away with it easily because I wear skyscraper heels that add three to four inches to my height. Truthfully, it was when I showed up at the bike shop to be fitted that I learned I was exactly five foot one and a half inches short.

2. Why Campy? Are you too cool for Shimano school?
Let’s start with YES and go from there. My Campagnolo Record carbon components were handed down to me, and I wouldn’t knock such an amazing gift. In addition, I prefer them to the Shimano because the Italian styling is far more pleasing, in my novice opinion.

3. Do you have a beau? Will you have one when you visit?
Sorry to break it to you, but technically I’m still married. Back when I filed for divorce I figured that without any assets to speak of we could wrap this up in six months, but I haven’t heard a dang thing in ages. Maybe the legal system in Los Angeles is a little backed up?

4. California girls are known for accessories… Are they real?
This is a long sad story that I wasn’t allowed to make public before I moved out. Here’s the short version: Gained fitness and lost pounds. Previously undetected lumps were discovered. That surgery I was so cryptic about back in March? It was all about the boobies.

5. What should I wear to impress you on our first date?
Most girls go for that Johnny Depp / Brad Pitt bad boy, but not this one. Rather, I prefer a clean cut guy in a smart suit. Guess it was all the Remington Steele that I used to sneak out of bed to watch in the eighties, but I dig the Pierce Brosnan type.

6. What are you wearing? Be honest, detailed, and type slowly.
Today I am dressed for business, adorned in black from head to toe. Tailored sheath dress, jet bead necklace, adorable round-toed heels that tie in a bow at the ankle, and my favorite part… Sheer black argyle stockings. I have a thing for argyle that’s bordering on fetish.

7. Why should I give you money to ride a MS-150?
Well, this year’s ride is over, but you’re welcome to give freely to support their research and efforts to find a cure. After being out there doing the ride and seeing cyclists who were themselves struggling with Multiple Sclerosis, I’m more convinced than ever that it’s a great cause.

8. What’s your favorite position: on the hoods or in the drops?
I’m going to answer this one as if I don’t see the double meaning you’re aiming for. My handlebars are spiffy awesome and they have these neato thumb depressions and finger grips that make it super sweet to keep your hands up on top to save your back.

9. Who would win in a pillow fight? You or Paris Hilton?
That pile of abused meat curtains doesn’t stand a chance, but I could probably make a bloody fortune selling the video of our little romp.

10. What state do potatos come from?
Potatoes is the spelling that I prefer, but according to the giant can of mashed flakes we had sitting in our pantry when I was a child, they come from I-da-ho… Which is a state name that really makes me laugh when it comes out of the mouth of someone like say, Paris Hilton.

11. Are you more of a party animal? Or the girl next door?
Neither. I think both roles are pretty lame, so instead I choose my own brand of amazingly fabulous and live according to it on a regular basis. PS: Those of you reading this should really check out the original post for some hilarious links that accompany the questions.

12. Is it the size of the frame or the quality of the ride?
DUH… They’re interdependent. Thanks Donny, that was fun!

Entry Filed under: Atomic Bombshell