Atomic Bombshell


Neverending

October 22nd, 2007

Spiral ClockSix months. That’s how long I was told it should take for the divorce to be final. At first that made perfect sense to me. With no kids of our own, no house, and therefore nothing to fight over, it should be easy, right? Yet here I am after not two six month spans later, but a mind-boggling year and a half, and it’s still not over.

To make matters worse, even once the court clerk pounds his or her stamp onto our paperwork and it’s legally over, we’re still not completely done. They have to analyze our retirement assets, slice them down the middle, and then there’s still the matter of the ultimate disposal of my car, leased in my ex’s name.

It’s a frustrating situation, but it’s worth all the struggle to be free…

Free from an emotionally (and at times physically) abusive relationship. Free to be myself without fearing constant harassment. Free to enjoy friendships without abiding his disapproval and criticism. From being ignored by the one who should love me. From unreasonable demands. From being viewed like a utility. Water, trash, electricity, wife.

Entry Filed under: Carrie's Rants,The Black Hole

20 Comments

  • 1. Salena  |  October 22nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    A year and a half?! What the?! Is he contesting it or something? Geez!

  • 2. The Bombshell  |  October 22nd, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    Nope. This is California, my dear. Home of the no-fault divorce, which means no contesting. Nevertheless, it takes a small eternity.

  • 3. Nanette  |  October 22nd, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    Wow! I’m sorry to hear you’re still dealing with all of that!

  • 4. Jordan aka The Ninja  |  October 22nd, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    I am so happy that you are out and able to live life again!

  • 5. Friglet  |  October 22nd, 2007 at 6:12 pm

    I feel your pain. My divorce took over 2 years and that was a lifetime ago. Hang in there, you are right, it is totally worth it!

  • 6. Catherine  |  October 22nd, 2007 at 9:32 pm

    When is this gonna happen? The court clerk with the stamp part?

  • 7. Dave2  |  October 23rd, 2007 at 4:40 am

    Freedom is so valuable that people have been willing to die for it… so hang in there, your liberation will be worth the wait it in the end! 🙂

  • 8. Smizzo  |  October 23rd, 2007 at 10:43 am

    Hang in there. It’s SO going to be worth it.

    I am excited for you. You are getting your life back. 🙂

  • 9. Kimberly  |  October 23rd, 2007 at 10:59 am

    Cheers to your freedom baby! Sounds like a pain in the ass but well worth the wait.

  • 10. Peggy  |  October 23rd, 2007 at 11:08 am

    I’m so glad that the end is in sight.

  • 11. The Bombshell  |  October 23rd, 2007 at 11:50 am

    Catherine: I have no idea. They said it would be 6 weeks from the date we went before the judge, but that day came and went. I’m secretly hoping that whining about it magically triggers finalization of the paperwork in the usual “guess I spoke too soon” fashion.

    Everybody: Thank you so much for your encouragement!

  • 12. Jen  |  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Man, I’m sorry, that’s such a drag! Like dealing with divorce isn’t hard enough without making it a legal nightmare, too.

    I’m sending hugs.

  • 13. Pie  |  October 24th, 2007 at 11:48 am

    I can’t imagine how frustrating that must be for you, but at least you’re free, as you said. Congratulations on breaking free from such a horrible relationship and good luck for the future!

  • 14. Lisa  |  October 26th, 2007 at 10:57 am

    Gosh, mine took less than a week. But that was Kentucky! A friend of mine got divorced in California and it took a while for her as well. Poo poo on California divorce laws. But hey, every diet worth doing takes a while right?

  • 15. Smizzo  |  October 26th, 2007 at 7:24 pm

    Just clicked on one of your Test Posts in Google Reader and had to let you know how much I freakin’ adore your WHOOPS page!!!

  • 16. Hilly  |  October 27th, 2007 at 6:43 am

    Oh I wish I’d had more time to talk to you in LA…but then again who wants to talk about this stuff at a party? I am at the beginning stages now…..merely separated and starting to file. But you know what? Even though I read this, I have to agree that it will be worth it to feel like me again.

  • 17. Devilish Southern Belle  |  October 27th, 2007 at 6:54 pm

    I am sorry to hear about how long it’s taking you to get divorced. I was in a very similar situation before, and sometimes wonder if I am headed that way again. Got here via bloghopping; love your site!

  • 18. MissPrissy  |  October 31st, 2007 at 9:11 am

    I had no idea you were going through this. It sounds like my divorce, but it will be worth it!

  • 19. soapbox.SUPERSTAR  |  November 2nd, 2007 at 8:48 am

    I really hope that this over for you soon!!!

  • 20. Naomi  |  November 7th, 2007 at 11:16 am

    Wow it’s so crazy to hear Divorce and being so egared to get. I’m looking foward to marriage with the love of my life and I feel like divorce will never happen to us. I couldn’t imagine trying to get so far from him and things getting soo bad we would need a divorce. I’m sorry that you are having to go through that I know at one time there must have been love there and I hope that you find that happiness again. I only hope that if anything thing goes wrong in my life I have the courage to stand on my own two feet and walk away too.



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