Archive for November, 2007
“I hate those fags on bikes. Every time I see one on the road I want to run them over with my truck” he said. “Oh yeah? Your wife will be on one of those bikes soon. You gonna run me over, too?” I asked. “Yep! Look, a cyclist. Thump! That used to be my wife, but now it’s a speed bump.” he replied, half joking, half his usual brand of control via intimidation.
So, it was no big surprise when, after months of panic attacks on the bike every time I rode within proximity of a silver Toyota Tacoma, one finally ran me down on what would have been our tenth wedding anniversary. No, it wasn’t my ex that took me out, but a total stranger… But still, pretty eerie, is it not?
I was riding with about thirty cyclists that morning and I was fifth from the lead. The truck overtook most of us, then cut a quick right turn into a driveway ahead of me, offering me no option but impact. I was able to slow down from about 18-20 mph to about 6-10 mph prior to the collision, but hitting a wall of steel at any speed is gonna hurt.
And hurt it does. This is my first day back at the keyboard in over a week, and I’m making it a short visit just to update. Although I was extremely fortunate that I didn’t go under his back wheel, I did suffer a great amount of damage from the three impacts: my bike hitting the truck, my body hitting the truck, and my body hitting the ground.
Continue Reading November 25th, 2007
When I wrote that previous entry I kind-of knew that whining about the divorce dragging on forever would be the “anti-jinx” to make sure the marriage that never should have happened would at least be over before its ten-year mark. And I was right, as this week it was declared finally, finally, final… Well, except for all the loose ends.
But hey, legally I’m now unmarried.
You’d think since I was the plaintiff in this case I’d be doing cartwheels right now. Especially after recently being contacted by the “new ex” (that he used for a year and a half after I left) and learning that he’s become even more intolerable. Perhaps that offered some validation. Or that I’d at least be excited about the future, knowing that I’m no longer a prisoner of that big bad decision I made in Las Vegas.
But no. Even after eight years of pain, even though my pastor at church would attest that I had biblical grounds, there’s still this great big part of me that knows that when I signed on for forever it meant for ever. And knowing that, I can’t help feeling like a total and complete failure.
I’m not sharing this because I need your sympathy or encouragement. In fact, being able to share these feelings is a small celebration of my liberation. I don’t have to pretend like I’m hunky-dory any more or stick to the approved topics. Introducing: More of the real me.
November 9th, 2007
Listen up, all you Blogasm gals: Originally, I picked up the Nike Plus kit as a way of keeping me motivated to keep up my cardio once cycling season ended, but after reading post after post about how so many of you are hoping to shed a few pounds before Vegas next spring, and after having so much fun with the system over the last month, I feel it’s my personal duty to invite you to enjoy the magic of Nike Plus with me…
Continue Reading November 7th, 2007