Atomic Bombshell


Thirty Days

September 28th, 2010

Hello? Is this thing on?

Leave it to Avitable to entice me out of a long hiatus. But hey, all my favorite people are signing on for this “30 Days of Truth” and well… I just happened to hear about it yesterday, shortly after I spent about an hour looking over this old site and perhaps missing blogging a tiny bit… So here I am.

Read on to see my entry for Day One:
Something You Hate About Yourself

My Mouth

Let’s talk about the solution before I get into all the gritty details about the problem so that I don’t get too depressed. In my favorite chapter of my favorite book of the Bible, verse 29 of Ephesians 4 instructs us not to use foul or abusive language, but to let everything we say be good and helpful, so that our words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. In stronger language, we are warned in James 3:6 that the tongue is a whole world of wickedness that can set your whole life on fire.

Yikes! However, I deeply understand the truth and wisdom in those verses because this is the area where I struggle most. I don’t know if it’s because my mother was always so abusive toward me verbally and I just mastered that skill thanks to her example, or if after the first 32 years of my life, characterized by one victimization after another, it had become a pressure release valve to nonviolently diffuse all that repressed rage.

Regardless, it’s something I need to do away with entirely, that has no place in my life today. I don’t want to say hurtful things to others whether they’ve earned it or not. There is no justification for slicing people to shreds with my words. Nevertheless, I have a cursing problem that I need to get under control before it infects my child, I need to stop steamrolling the people I love when I’m frustrated or angry, and to divest myself of this special talent I have for making clever cutting remarks when I’ve been scorned.

It’s embarrassing, and I want to change.

Entry Filed under: The Black Hole

6 Comments

  • 1. dena  |  September 28th, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    That description of your mouth you’ve just written is nothing like the person I’ve met. Nothing. Let go of some of those worries. You’re being too hard on yourself.

  • 2. Avitable  |  September 28th, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    I consider a quick tongue to be a sign of sharp wit, and while verbal abuse isn’t appropriate, tearing someone down with your words when they deserve it is. The few interactions I’ve had with you have not led me to believe that you’re anything other than a caring, wonderful person. And if you say fuck occasionally, I know that I’m okay with that.

  • 3. soapbox.SUPERSTAR  |  September 29th, 2010 at 4:37 am

    Having known you online for… wow 5 or 6 years now and having met you – I would have NEVER thought that of you. I could not see you “slicing people to shreds with your words” EVER! But I do know what you are talking about… when I was pregnant with Kaiden, people were making bets that her first word would be mf’er. And if you cross me, I mean really cross me – I can make you feel 1″ tall in two seconds flat with words alone… as the father of my children…

    F*ck, I am happy you posted! 🙂

  • 4. soapbox.SUPERSTAR  |  September 29th, 2010 at 4:38 am

    I meant “ask” the father of my children…

  • 5. Shelly  |  September 29th, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Seriously? I have never gotten that from you. You are one of the most awesome people I know. I enjoy our occasional phone conversations a lot. Sometimes I feel that my mouth is entirely too dirty for your ears. XOXO

  • 6. Keri  |  October 11th, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    I’m with every one else, I would have never guessed that about you. And like Shelly, I feel bad when I swear in your (internet) presence. Sorry 🙂



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