Atomic Bombshell


Time Bombs

December 2nd, 2010

Seriously? Is it even possible that I’m sick again? Apparently so, because it’s the crack of dawn and I’ve been awake since 3am coughing and blowing my nose. For those of you moms out there, you probably know how much extra fun it is being ill while in the third trimester. You’re lucky to get comfortable enough to sleep without any of the additional complications I’m dealing with.

Alas, we had a lovely Thanksgiving, and I hope you did too. We traveled up the coast to visit with my aunt, uncle, cousins, and father-in-law. A certain little 15 month old boy of mine was very spoiled by all the extra attention. It’s great to be able to surround my son with as much love as possible, so I’m grateful we were able to make the trip… Even if it did result in exposure to these wicked germs.

Read on for Day 16 of 30 Days of Truth
Something I’d Prefer To Live Without

There are a lot of unsavory emotions which can also be essential. Hate, for example. It’s valid to hate anything evil, so hate has its proper place. But there is one emotion that I would prefer to be entirely removed from the list of options: Jealousy. I can’t see many justifications for it.

I’ve written a great deal about my issues in dealing with members of my gender. One of the main triggers that sends me running away from another woman is catching a whiff of any form of jealousy. I don’t want to be anywhere near it, quite frankly. But in my effort to hopefully develop more female friendships, I’ve tried to research the issue to better understand.

Most theories tend to boil it down to something called an “abundance mentality” which either you have or don’t have. We’re told that people with this mindset see all the great things we can have and experience in life – love, success, beauty, etc. – as being in unlimited supply. Whereas people who struggle with jealousy intrinsically see the situation as if when others have something good it means there’s less of it available for them.

People who regularly experience jealous impulses are simply not safe to be around. They’re like ticking time bombs. Sooner or later that jealousy will be aimed toward you, and usually in some dreadfully cruel and underhanded fashion. I’m always personally offended when someone displays jealousy toward me. Now, that’s something I can work on. I shouldn’t internalize it.

However, I do understand the frustration of not being able to obtain critical life necessities. I understand struggle. I know what it’s like being the “have not” when you’re surrounded by “haves”. That’s been a big part of my life experience. Still, I can’t justify jealousy because it is usually counterproductive and most often leads to even greater destructive behavior.

When jealousy is aimed toward me I take offense because as a former “have not” who now “has” there is nothing I wouldn’t do to help you achieve the same successes in life. Now, if I were hoarding away knowledge or experience to prevent you from obtaining what I have, maybe your jealousy would be in some way merited, but I am always more than happy to share.

“A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.”
Robert A. Heinlein

Entry Filed under: Carrie's Rants

2 Comments

  • 1. soapbox.SUPERSTAR  |  December 7th, 2010 at 6:08 am

    Absolutely LOVE this post!!!!

  • 2. Friglet  |  December 12th, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    I’ve never understood jealous women. To be honest, they scare me because they are capable of some scary behavior.

    I’m sorry you keep getting so sick. That is definitely no fun when you’re pregnant. 🙁



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